(Closed) Both Adopting a New Name!

posted 10 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I did a quick search on google, and found out that it’s the name of a cream for genital warts.  I’m not sure how many people would know that though…

Post # 4
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

HAHAHHAHAHAHA. blackbird, you just made my morning. =)

i wouldn’t want a name like that, but it’s up to you!! but can you imagine what would happen if it became the next vioxx and was all over the news?? oh and the tormenting your kid would have to deal with if anyone found out what it meant in middle school…

Post # 5
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Hey, lets not knock genital diseases.  I love my first name but it is also the name for the yeast that causes yeast infections.  Another definition of my name is pure, flowing, white…..

Freshname, I don’t think many people will know that it is a name for a cream.  Then again, every once in a while people find that definition for my name (high school sex ed), but people also seem to forget about it pretty quickly.  Years ago my fiance figured it out.  He thought it was hilarious.  I brought this up to him a little while ago and he didn’t remember that at all.

 I still love my name (Candida)

Candi

Post # 6
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Is Aldera a combining of both of your names, or is it just something you chose? I’m wondering if there is any significance to the name.

Post # 7
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Freshname, I’d like to hear more about how/why you decided to do this and exactly what criterion you are using for selecting a last name.  I’d also like to hear your Fiance and familys’ thoughts on the name change.  I’ve heard of people doing this, but I’ve never been able to hear the "whys" behind it all.

Regarding Aldera, you mention that the Whitepages only shows 7 people/families with that surname… is that supposed to be a negative or a positive for adopting that name?  If I had a relatively rare last name (for instance, all of these Aldera’s may be related) – if I met someone else with that last name, I’d assume we were somehow related.  I guess my thinking is that a surname is not a tattoo.  Yes, both are relatively permanent, and you may choose them because they look/sound cool, beautiful… but a surname has meaning.  It connects us with our past – and thus if I were one of 7 Aldera’s (who all decended from great grandpa Aldera, who came through Ellis Island in 18## and they changed the O to an E and….) well I’d consider my surname as something special and I’d be kinda annoyed if someone else (who isn’t family) suddenly had the name because they thought it "sounded nice."

Do you see what I’m saying… even though your familys’ surnames aren’t important to the two of you – they may be really important to the family you are poaching the name from.

So maybe if you want a rare/unique name – pick a last name that no one has, and then that last name will be "born" with your new family. (Maybe even a different spelling of Aldera). Or, if it is all about how the name "sounds," choose a name that doesn’t "belong" to only one family.  Or choose a last name based on meaning – if you look through both your and your FI’s familys’ names and maiden names, you’ll probably find a last name you share.  

Finally, are you and your Fiance intending to have children.  Will they take this new last name?  When they are 18, are you going to encourage them to go find a new last name – thus will Aldera die with you and your FI?  

Post # 8
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Regarding what enmoore66 said – I agree – you raise some really good questions! 

Freshname – please give us more info if you can.

Post # 9
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i think the idea of your choosing a new name is wonderful, but i feel like it should have meaning, not be chosen just b/c you liked the sound of a word. 

my Future Sister-In-Law and her husband combined their last names when they got married.  not with a hyphen; they created a new name using their last names which is an idea i love.

is there any way you could combine your present last names?  or use letters from your names? again, i just feel like it should have a special meaning.

Post # 10
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Since you didn’t ask my option of the name change, I will just address the name itself.  I admit that I recognized it as the genital wart cream right away.  Then again, I used to work in the medical field.

Post # 11
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Whatever name you choose has meaning because you chose it together. We wanted to do this but we haven’t been able to agree on a new name and with the wedding 2 months away I don’t think we’ll have time. Our new plan is change our names when we have a baby.

 I’ll admit I also recognized the name, but I’m in the medical profession as well. It is spelled differently – Aldara. If you like those letters you could always go with Aderal, which sounds like Adderall. ADHD is a little more socially acceptable than genital warts. I think if you like the name you should go with it. You can find something wrong with any name.

Post # 12
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

We’re also choosing a new last name (paperwork is already in process).  For us, we got jammed in to a tight corner and a new name seemed to be the best way out.  Here’s our long story =P

-FH was born with a hyphenated last name (mother+father’s last names).  He’s encountered a lot of problems with paperwork, etc. with it, and wishes it was shorter.

-FH’s parents have since divorced (not amicably). 

-FH and I want to share a last name (along with any possible kids). 

-I don’t want to take two last names, when neither of them are mine.  I don’t particularly want to keep mine, since I don’t have a great relationship with my dad.

 So it would seem the easiest option would be to just choose one of FH’s last names and keep that, which would be fine with me, but his parents were both very adamant that FH did not choose the other person’s name over their own.  Very, very adamant.  And angry.  Not good.

So then we tried looking at past last names in the family tree.  Same problem.  Can’t choose a name from the other person’s side of the family either.

 So new name it is.  Both of his parents would rather we took a new last name than the name of the other person.  My parents sortof thought that I was going to change my name anyway, so they don’t seem to care, though they think it’s weird.  I like this better anyway, since I never thought the whole woman-changes-her-name-but-guy-doesn’t thing was very fair.

We chose our name by using those baby name sites where you can search by meaning.  So it has an important meaning to us, and some interesting classical relationships.  And, google doesn’t show it to be anything else obvious either =)

As for our kids, they can change their name to whatever they want, since we’ve sworn to not give our kids the heartache that FH’s parents have given him.

Post # 13
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

And I think Aldera’s a wonderful name =)

Post # 14
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Peihan17, I LOVE hearing your story! Makes me wish Darling Husband and I had done the same thing!!

Post # 15
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

Thanks, bonniebelle =)

 FreshName (and anyone else considering this option), I just wanted to also add that there are hard parts to choosing a whole new name.  As others mentioned, there might be resistance from your own families.  Other people will either be confused, or outrightly critical, demanding an explanation that you may not feel like telling strangers.  In our case, it wasn’t really just a whim, so it’s annoying when people treat as a bizarre form of rebellion or childishness.

 Of course, the legalities are also more complicated.  Most states will not allow you to change your name to something completely different just via marriage.  We opted to do a court order for FH’s name change, so that I can change my name via marriage.  Annoying, but doable.  Also expensive ($210 in NY).

On the other hand, we got a cool new name to start our new life with.  Bonniebelle, I think you’re one of the few who have thought it a good idea =)

 Here’s a recent thread on indiebride on the subject too: http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=msg&th=34980&start=0&rid=12131&S=aed14f7f6615c80a164b12f22312303e

 Oh, and combinations of our names (any of the three), all sounded terrible… and we tried really hard =P

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