- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So before our engagement was officially, my fiancÃ© and I talked about both changing our last name. Now, either way we would be using his name, but let me give you the background.
My fiancÃ©’s grandpa died when his son (fiancÃ©’s dad) was a small child. His last name was Finnegan. A few years later his mother remarried into Noel and my fiancÃ©’s dad took his name because he was a great father figure, and he didn’t know his actual father.
So here we are. I absolutely love the idea of Finnegan, and here are my reasons. First, I like the idea of us both changing our names. Why should i do it when he doesn’t? Why doesn’t he take my name? I feel that us both changing our name is modern and fair. Also, we are both the youngest/only child which would in a fun way make us the last of our names and the “first” Finnegan. Second, I am a huge heritage person. My family is German heritage, and if you know me, you definitely know that. So to be proud of my fiancÃ©’s heritage would mean a lot to me, especially with how “irishsentric” his family is. Third and least important, I think Finnegan sounds better with my first name.
What’s holding us back. Well, family. My parents like Noel more. My mother is a French fanatic and they both think Finnegan is very blue collar, while Noel is white collar. really? What would they think if he had a blue collared name without this question? Like Taylor… Oh wait. That’s my last name! Hmmm..
And last, but most importantly.. My fiancÃ© is starting to sound less excited about it. He’s saying now that he wants to talk to his dad before we decide, because he’s worried that his dad will not like the idea which seems ridiculous because his dad is the most irishsentric, Finnegan loving of us all. Don’t get me wrong though, I totally like that idea, but I’m worried that if his dad seems slightly disinterested… Well there goes that idea. And what bothers me is that he says that he likes the idea of changing it, but seems hesitant and does a good job of avoiding the topic.
Any advice? I really want us both to change our names. It means a lot to me, but I’m not sure if it’s worth creating issues over it. I don’t want any weird vibes from his family (mainly his sister-in-law) about how we aren’t “related” because of a simple name change. I feel like my fiancÃ© is only really worried about what his family thinks and not about what we would want, which I’m also scared is what only I want.
It’s hard to get the whole scope of things without writing a novel, but I would appreciate ANY thoughts or advice.