(Closed) Both families on my back about my weight (pics)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just point blank tell them that your weight is not a topic for conversation.  If they continue to press, tell them you are leaving/hanging up the phone.  If they still continue, leave/hang up the phone. 🙂

You don’t have to take the abuse from anyone.

Post # 48
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you should stop being passive and have a direct, diplomatic talk with them when you aren’t upset. Tell them how it upsets you, how you are healthy, and that you need them to stop making comments. I did this with my family and they have backed off considerably. Stand up for yourself, but try not to cause a family war. 

Post # 49
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can relate! Except my fiance’s family is all naturally skinny. I on the other hand have to work at it. I’m 4’11 and before my fiance and I got pregnant I was about 118.  I wasn’t happy with my weight so when I decided to do Weight Watchers to lose the baby weight I decided to continue and lose the other weight. My daughter just turned 1 and I’m 100 lbs now. I feel very happy with my weight now. My fiance and his mom have never had to work at losing weight so they have voiced annoyances at the fact that I am “on a diet”. Which doesn’t even make sense because my favorite thing about Weight Watchers is I can eat whatever I want in moderation. I just chose to skip the pizza and potatoes sometimes. I decided I don’t care what comments are made. I love food and I eat enough, I don’t need to justify my healthy lifestyle. If they can eat a bunch of junk and not gain a pound good for them, unfortunately I have a different body type and to maintain I need to watch my habits. Don’t get me wrong I let myself indulge and eat what I want on special occassions, but Saturday isn’t a special occassion in my book lol.

I would try to politely educate them on your lifestyle when appropriate (as I have had to explain I’ m not as fortunate as FI’s family.) Also realize they may have a little resentment if you’re the one in the best shape. Hopefully they come to realize you are healthy and not bulemic/anorexic, etc. If they still continue on then I would suggest learning to ignore it and/or politely correct them or ask them to stop when you hear comments. I have come to learn many people are not educated about nutrition and how to really lose weight. They sometimes assume it is impossible for them or that thin people will born that way or unhealthy. 

Post # 50
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Good lord. You have a perfect body. If anything, you are in a much better position to be able to have kids beause you are so healthy.

DON’T LISTEN TO THEM. I’m actually kinda inspired by you because I’m 5’6″ and 133 and I *feel* like I look much heavier. If that’s 140 DAMN you must be full of muscle!

Post # 51
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

@arborlon:  you’re gorgeous, and actually according to BMI you should be that weight. I’m assuming you’re mostly muscle which is what contributes to your weight. I’m sorry the families are being ridiculous. I hope it gets better for you. <3

Post # 52
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

@arborlon:  

OMG now I’ve heard everything. Wow! I am sorry you are getting so much flak over this!

If they don’t knock it off, go to the doctor and get an official note from the M.D. that says you are at a healthy weight. Goodness gracious!

FWIW when I was in college I was almost 5’8″ and 142 lbs. and I was built pretty much like you, just a little heavier. And I thought I was too fat back then! Even my b/f at the time told me I needed to lose weight (eyeroll — he’s an ex b/f for obvious reasons!). So I can’t believe they’re encouraging you to gain weight!

IMO you look like you have a perfect figure. You should have NO issues with fertility as related to your weight. Plenty of petite women (my own mother and Mother-In-Law included) were about 5’2″ and 100 lbs. when they got married and they had no trouble conceiving and having children!

It almost sounds like you are experiencing weight discrimination in reverse. I think their comments are a reflection of the fact that they are so overweight, they are beginning to see excess pounds as normal. So when they look at someone like you who has a normal weight, they think you’re too skinny. Either that, or they’re jealous on some level.

I would kill to have your figure! I don’t look like that anymore, LOL! Enjoy your healthy weight and don’t worry!

Post # 53
Hostess
8574 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Wtf? You look gorgeous. You don’t look ungodly thin, you look perfect. On the thin side, yes, but not sickly thin.

Post # 54
Hostess
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@arborlon:  you must have a good muscle percentage…you look fab ;). I need to aspire to be like you because I need to work out more…although I am skinny (5’9″, around 125lbs)…I need to be more in shape and active.

As for your family and Fi family….lets just say jealousy can get ugly. No joke. I try to be  balanced about food (so I wont deny myself a cookie every once in awhile..but I wont eat 5 in one go).  But it gets annoying when ppl say “oh you’re skinny you can eat more”…well my response (in my head usually) is “I wont be skinny if I eat all that!” … the truth is ppl are insecure and they get jealous..and instead of bringing themselves Up they want to bring others down.

Don’t worry you do not look too sickly skinny  in any way, shape, or form. Stay the same you have arocking body!

Post # 55
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

ugh I’m so sorry. I am super sensitive about approaching my underweight sister (5’6 110 pounds) since Im a few overweight. 

You are obviously healthy. Tell them all that matters is what your dr says.

Post # 56
Hostess
2997 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

can you say jealous?

Post # 57
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You look super healthy, people always tell me i look like skin and bones at 140 (5’7″) but my dr. never had a problem with it and if you look it up thats a normal weight. I think maybe its just jealousy? My mom has never been happy with my weight, she always has something to pick on “when i was your age, i weighed 30 lbs less than you do!” or “your sister needs to gain some weight, she’s too skinny! (she’s the thinnest in the family at 5 lbs lighter than me but somehow i am like “you’ve got too much junk in your trunk” kinda crap. It hurts a lot to have people tell you you’re too fat and people will pick on you for being too (in their opinion) skinny. But I think its probably a little competitive/jealous.

Post # 58
Member
982 posts
Busy bee

@arborlon:  I think you look amazing. I would love to have your dedication to eating well and being active! Don’t listen to those who try to put you down, offer for them to go exercising with you next time they bring it up! Or just say point blank that they’re being rude. Being healthy doesn’t equal eating disorder at all. If they knew what an eating disorder actually looked like (hair falling out, bad skin, not eating, exercising like mad), they wouldn’t say that. To me, you look like the epitome of health and fitness.

Post # 59
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Seems like your Mom and sis may be a bit jelous, heck I am and I don’t even know you.  I wish I had the time and diciplin to take care of myself like that. 

Ignore their comments, invite them to the gym…I donno, sorry they are giving you a hard time.

Post # 60
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Every time I see a post about weight I think it’s from a heavier girl (I myself am “plus-sized”) and I often forget that slimmer ladies get crap too! 🙁 Sorry you’re dealing with this.

I think you’re gorgeous, and you look super fit!

The fact that you ARE 140 but look 110 is because you must be all muscle (since muscle weighs more than fat), so that in itself says you’re fit and healthy!

You look great, and best of luck TTC!

Post # 61
Member
6578 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

wow, thats what i weigh and you look waay better, lol 🙂 if your doctor hadnt said anything and youre happy, forget the comments!!

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