(Closed) Both Hypenating

posted 4 years ago in Names
Post # 2
23589 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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thepinkflamingo :  We didn’t do this, but I think it’s a wonderful idea!  My brother in law has a couple friend who actually made a new last name out of their existing last names – I’ll admit that made me raise an eyebrow, but it’s really cool to bring two people together by changing last names together!

Post # 3
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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thepinkflamingo :  we aren’t doing this, but I like when both partners change! Our good friends combined their last names into a new one, and it’s awesome. (Also really worked with their names and sounds natural).

The only thing is, hyphenated names are only a one-generation solution. My fiance has a hyphenated name so we can’t combine ours without being absurd. I also wouldn’t ever take both his last names, that’s just annoying. Doesn’t matter to us because I’d prefer to keep my own name. And it’s not really something you need to worry about, just don’t be upset if/when a future child drops one of your names to make their own family name down the line!

Post # 4
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We didn’t do this exactly, but both of us changed our names. We took my surname as a second middle name and his as the official last name. Unofficially we are using both last names as our family name, but officially (for doctors, govt. documents, etc) we have a short last name, and it solved the ‘one generation’ problem for us. I think both partners changing names together is a modern solution and really represents partnership. We’ve received no negative feedback other than a few relatives being initially confused because it’s not ‘normal’. 

Post # 5
641 posts
Busy bee

My husband and I did this. Where we live people find it interesting, but not at all shocking – it’s uncommon, but not unheard of.

Our families, on the other hand…. My extended family thinks it’s just fascinating, while his extended familiy (in the rural South) is vaguely scandalized by it, thought they are far too polite to say so. We got a lot of ‘Oh! ……my….’ reactions.

Anyway, it’s worked out great. It makes us feel that sense of ‘team’ ness that I think a lot of people describe as a positive of the wife changing her name. But every time I look at the name in print, or even better, watch him sign something it gives me this overwhelming warm feeling that we did this together. That I did not become a member of HIS team – we both became members of each other’s teams, or part of this brand new team. That he was willing to do precisely the same thing he was asking me to do.

It reminds me every day that he would never ask anything of me that he wasn’t doing himself. And that he’s willing to advertise to the world that fact by the very public proclamation of his name, despite any possible ramifications as a result of the social expectations of masculinity in a heterosexual relationship.

Wow, okay, writing that actually got me a little teary-eyed. I need to go remind him how much I love him for that act.

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