(Closed) Both sets of parents threatening not to attend the wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m a little confused with your post. Are his parents bothered that you are having a catholic ceremony or is it the priest who is bothered?

I personally dont have respect for parents that threaten not to attend their own kids ceremony, I they cant use threats like that to control you. I would just say “fine dont come then” and I’m sure they would still come anyway

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh I see…  I dont think its their decision to make.

Post # 6
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@likelimeade: Seriously, just do what makes YOU GUYS happy. Do what you want to do! It’s your wedding, not theirs! They’ve had their day! This day is all about YOU GUYS. If they’re so petty and childish that they won’t attend, then that’s their issue, and I’m sure they’ll feel nothing but guilty and selfish later. 

But yeah…do what you guys want to do regardless of anyone else, don’t let other people make decisions about YOUR wedding. 

I hope they come to their senses, love! <3 

Post # 7
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t have much sympathy for them.  After all, if they want you to start practicing, wouldn’t this be a good way?  Decide if you will stick by your decision or cave to this particular demand.  If you decide to stick to your guns then just say, “this decision is between us, our priest and God.”  I am fairly confident that they will not skip your wedding, but I do not know your parents, I’m just saying that based off the feeling that I can’t imagine anyone skipping for that reason.  Maybe talk to *their* priest, to see if he can intervene?

Post # 8
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I am so so sorry you both have to deal with this. As difficult as it is to deal with these ultimatums, it is important for you both to have the ceremony your way- in the way that is most meaningful.

Also, how wonderful it is that you stick together as a couple in the face of all this stress and combat between families! Very good sign- shows how strong your commitment is. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Obviously you won’t make either of them happy so do what makes you happy, stick with your Fiance and stand your ground and tell them if they can’t grow up and act like mature loving supportive parents then you don’t want them there anyways 🙂

Post # 10
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

So they are literally acting holier-than-thou! Sorry, I think that is ridiculous. It’s the Church that decides whether you are able to receive the sacrament of matrimony, not your future parents-in-law.

Post # 11
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I say, call their bluff and do what the two of you want to do.  I really think that when puch comes to shove they will not miss out on their own son’s wedding.  However, you both have to be prepared for that possibility.

Post # 12
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Maybe you can have the priest talk to his parents to explain why he was allowing it (you’d think they would listen to a priest, but who knows)

Post # 13
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

See if you can have the marriage cerimony but not a mass? I’m so sorry. Perhaps try having a family conference with the priest interceeding?

Post # 14
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Could you have the ceremony without the mass?  I could understand the FIL’s being upset if you guys were having mass, and you’re not practicing – it does kind of make a mockery of their beliefs, but I don’t see a problem (especially if your priest is onboard with the idea!) with the ceremony alone. 

Post # 15
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You were both baptized as Catholics, correct??  Therefore, even though you aren’t practicing (which you will have to go to mass more often, I’m sure prior to the wedding) it would only make sense that that’s how you’re married??

My Fiance and I have already gotten threats too and at this point we just say it would be their loss.  Imagine how embarrassed they would be to have to tell people why they didn’t show up to their own child’s wedding.

Do what makes you two happy. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you cave to either side’s request, just remember that that will set a precedent for the rest of your marriage.

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