Post # 1
I’m probably going to cop it a bit from this post so let me just start off with saying that I think i’m so sad, not because they aren’t going to be at the shower, but because they have made it clear time and time again that they don’t want to be in my life.
I had to change my baby shower dates and concept because of some things that happened last year (waters breaking, constant fluid loss, 2 weeks stay in the hospital, baby could come any time). Because of this I know that a lot of the people who were originally coming now can’t make it and I understand even though it makes me feel a little bit sad. What upsets me the most though is that neither of my SIL’s are coming. SIL on my side has to work, which she has also conveniently had to do through 2 birthday lunches for me, my bridal shower and my engagement party. I pretty much expected this one and while it’s sad well, it didn’t surprise me.
SIL on DH’s side just can’t make it due to a prior engagement. Won’t explain why she can’t come just says “prior engagement”. If I remember correctly that would be her saturday morning boot camp so basically she is unwilling to cancel her boot camp to attend my baby shower. This SIL did come to my bridal shower but had a headache the whole time and wouldn’t join in with anything, every time someone offered her panadol she replied with “I don’t put foreign substances in my body” (I’ve seen her take it before) and she refused to drink the tap water so didn’t drink anything until my Mother-In-Law got up and boiled some water and cooled it for her.
How in the world did I end up with 2 SIL’s like this? Obviously there is way more to the story on both sides but I’m feeling so cross today at their lack of effort or even common decency despite having made every effort in the past towards both of them. Ok rant over.
Post # 3
I completely understand where you are coming from none of my SIL’s made it to my baby shower. 1 lives out of state so that was excusable, 1 don’t really talk to, and the other decided her and then toddler go on a trip prior to going to the same place trip wise before the whole family trip. Yeah I was not happy about it.
You live and learn and just play nice when you have to.. least that is what do on my end..
Post # 4
Maybe they just don’t like the idea of attending a baby shower? Baby showers are fairly new here in Australia, and perhaps they see it as low importance. Also, if the guests are mainly your friends, they could be thinking it’ll pretty boring for them.
This doesn’t excuse their other behaviour, but I wouldn’t worry too much over a baby shower.
Post # 5
The only thing you can do is change is your expectations. We all have this vision of one cozy family, but for many of us, that is never going to happen.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you feel sad! My ILs didn’t come to my baby shower, either. I enjoyed spending time with just my family and friends!
Post # 7
This really sucks. Well i’d probably talk to my brother first. Make sure you haven’t done something that she took wrong and see if there is some way to fix it. I’d do the same with Mother-In-Law about that SIL. Sometimes people hold grudges over dumb things and you may not even know if you did or didn’t do something.
Good Luck and have FUN at your shower!
Post # 8
Depending on the job, work is usually a decent excuse. I work Tuesday through Saturday and I’m the only one in on Saturday so it’s the most difficult day to take off. Ideally I have to pre-pick it a year in advance. Depending on why I need it, I can sometimes ask for a switch but I don’t want to take advantage. I could probably do it for a wedding but I’d rather not do it for a shower, and certainly not a birthday lunch.
Of course, there have been times that I loved having work as an excuse to miss an event.
But yeah, some people just suck. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they have to be friends.
Post # 9
Try to focus on the friends that are attending. My SILs didnt come to my bachelorette. I threw a baby shower for one SIL and my guess is she would probably pass on my baby shower, if I had one, lol.
Post # 10
No it’s really not that, I have seen both of them attend baby showers before in the time I’ve known them.
It’s a bit sad though that she won’t take off time for the baby shower of her first neice considering she manages to take off time for other fun things. I have them both on my FB. I know that they attend other events. Just not any for me, ever. Yet I’ve still managed to turn up for all of hers.
Just sucks feeling low priority. This is the first baby on both sides as well so it’s not like everyone has already been there, done that and it’s getting old.