(Closed) Bother him until he proposes?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the exact opposite is true.  Leave him alone and he will be more likely to propose.  Honeslty, guys don’t like being bothered.  This is the same thing as Mr. Bee’s 3 Step Plan.

Post # 4
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Eeek yikes…I feel like that is a terrible idea! I don’t think that your bf should feel pressured to propose to you…I feel like that would be something a person would regret down the road. I think you are smart to not take her “advice”

Post # 5
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

The more you leave him alone…the more he will take his time until he is ready and without being pushed he has the time to pick out exactly what he wants and go shopping for the right price! I will say this though…the pressure hasnt actually been coming from me…its actually been coming from everyone around us…3 of his buddies just got engaged or are about to propose (has the ring already) and they have been dating for less time then we have…I am trying hard not to put any pressure on him…is it annoying that I see all these girls with their rings and have to constanly be saying “congratulations!” yes…but I try not to let him see that I am annoyed. Right now its a money thing..he is trying to save up for the perfect ring…so if you give him time…he will get you the best (biggest brightest best cut and setting) that he can possibly find.

Post # 7
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Oh, this is why I have shut up. Well, also because for some reason I have become calm again waiting.LOL Weird! I would feel like I MADE him do it, IF he did it. My SO isn’t one to be pushed around by me, so that’s a GREAT thing.

Post # 8
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I guess it could work, but why would you want to do that?  I wouldn’t want to have to badger someone into marrying me.  You both have to be ready.  I think I would feel bad about myself if my engagement came about because I hounded him into it.

That said, I got engaged a little sooner than he was planning because we were talking about it a lot, and I was like, “let’s get this show on the road.  Why wait six months when you could do it now?”  So he did, and now we’re married.  But I definitely wasn’t hassling him about it.

I feel like your sister’s perspective makes it all about the ring.  The ultimate goal here is marriage. 

Post # 9
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

MissBeans, I also think it’s unhelpful for you to compare the amount of time you have been together with other couples. I know it is tempting, and I have done it myself, but relationships run on different courses.  As every individual person is different, every couple is, too.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think having a grown up conversation about taking your relationship to the next level is fine. But pestering someone until they give you a ring? Yikes! I’m like you, I’d feel terrible!

Post # 11
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Miss Beans…lets keep our fingers crossed that our patience will pay off soon! haha. I think we are handling the situation in the best way that we can! PS-one of the couples that just got engaged have been dating 7 months…and the guy was talking to Teddy about how he was thinking about breaking up with her…two weeks later they are engaged…WTF? oh well…none of my business I guess…lol

Post # 12
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We definitely talked about marriage before he proposed, but I did not pressure him in any way.  Sounds like the wrong way to go about getting a ring IMO.

Post # 13
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Worst. Idea. Ever. Mr. KM either has the ring, or it’s coming by Wednesday, and I’m trying SO hard to not freak out on him every single day!

Post # 14
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yay KMSull! you are so close!!

Post # 15
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve been getting the bothering to bother him, but I don’t care to bother him.  I figure he will do it when he thinks it’s time.  

I’m fine with other people bothering him, though.  Just don’t bother me, because what am I going to do about it?  Sure, I could be Ms. 2010 and do it myself, but then I’d get bothered for that too!

It will happen when it happens.

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