(Closed) Boudoir bubble burst.

posted 7 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

It is none of her business. Also, it isn’t like porn at all. It is artistic and beautiful.

That said, it needs to be done by a professional. You won’t feel beautiful without the proper lighting, posing, retouching, and guidance. DIY boudoir is generally not a good idea.

Post # 4
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You  have to follow you heart and do what feels right to you.Your Maid/Matron of Honor cant really make that call for you.

Post # 5
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

awww… that is so sweet and wise that you are sensitive to his past addiction! I definitely think that you should follow your heart if this is a warning sign…

or, what about a PG boudoir? 🙂

Post # 6
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@kwynn: TOTALLY agree. It’s NOT porn, and get a professional.

Post # 7
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It would be porn if it were some random chick sending sexy photos of herself…you’re not some random woman, you’re going to be his WIFE!  To me, that is the difference.

I did a boudoir shoot for my Fiance and it was SO much fun!  Admittedly, seeing the raw pictures was overwhelming but once my photographer edited them, wow, I absolutely love them and can’t wait to give them to Fiance.  For me, if anything, it was a huge improvement to my self-esteem.

I think this is a personal decision and only you know what is right.  I’m not sure how much the porn addiction would play into this – you will be his wife and he will see you naked in the future.  To me, that’s different than porn.

Post # 8
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

If I were you and really wanted to get boudoir photos, I would go to a professional photographer that specializes in those type of shots. They can get really nice shots without making you look pornish. I have seen boudoir photo shoots that are amazing and get the point across without looking pornish.

Post # 9
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you find the right photographer, it will look nothing like porn.

I say go for it, but make sure the lighting isn’t too harsh, that you aren’t too posed or “theme” (like licking a gigantic lollipop or something) as that can skew a little more porn than you would like.

Keep the lighting soft and the tone of the pictures sexy but not overt and you’ll look stunning and NOT porny.

Post # 10
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I disagree with your Maid/Matron of Honor that it’s anything like porn for goodness sakes! It’s as tasteful or risque as you want it to be, but I would not akin it to porn!

I think if you’re worried about your Fiance and his past addiction, why not aim for something in more of a “pin up” girl style? It’s a bit more modest, but fun and you can use some adorable props!

Post # 11
272 posts
Helper bee

Yeah but you aren’t porn… I’m assuming that the two of you have been intimate if you’re engaged and what disgusts most people about porn is the fantasy of being with a woman that a man has never met before… and that it can be all slooty and such.  If he asks you to pose and has intentions with the pictures other than keeping them for himself, you have a problem.  But this is someone you intend to trust with the rest of your life… so it would probably be a pretty nice surprise 🙂

Post # 12
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Porn involves flaunting and putting emphasis on your very private girl parts.  I don’t think a boudoir shoot would have any of this.

Post # 13
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bakerella: that’s EXACTLY what I was thinking!!!!  

Especially if you go the OLD OLD OOOOLLLLLD style on the 50’s.  

Trust me, boudior, if done right, does NOT look like porn.  (I’m the type of girl who snooped through playboy just to see what the big deal was…. yes, I DID do this! LOL!)  There is a HUUUUUGE difference between pin-up/boudiour and porn.

If you don’t want to do bouidor, why not go all fantasy-ish?  As in dress up in something short and sexy, fantasy-ish make-up and send that to him?  Photoshoots don’t HAVE to be boudior.  

You know what your Fiance likes and what he’d looooove to see, so you can always play up to that. 

example: red riding hood-type costume that’s short and sexy.  Or Alice in Wonderland, or anything like that.  There’s plenty of “dress up” costumes out there that are short, sexy, and sweet that aren’t even CLOSE to porn that you could wear for a photoshoot.  

Just an idea for an alternative, if you’re really worried a bouidor might turn him back to his old addiction.  

Post # 14
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t worry about it because you two are in a commited relationship. I just think the “porn” title gets knocked out the window if you’re in a relationship.  Even if its sex tape, if it’s with an SO its a sex tape, not porn.

Post # 15
1405 posts
Bumble bee

As a guy I agree with your Maid/Matron of Honor.  It may not be porn but it’s a step in that direction.  what do you expect he is going to do with these pictures?

Don’t forget the classic definition of porn:  material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement

I know BPICS are not penthouse, but if you expect these to “excite” your Fiance, then it’s porn by definition.

Post # 16
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry your Maid/Matron of Honor freaked out on you.  I’m very sensitive on the porn issue.  I understand that everyone feels differently about it and that’s ok but for me it’s a huge problem.  With that said, I am still doing a boudoir shoot because I don’t equate it with porn.  It’s no more pornographic than a Victoria’s Secret catalog.  These are meant to be more sensual than erotic.  I would definitely shop around, find a photographer who does them in a style you like and a price you can afford. 


I wanted to add, that only you know your FH and whether or not he could handle it.  I think it’s wonderful that you are so concerned with his well-being.

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