(Closed) Bought a gift from the registry that the bride would rather not have? Oh well…

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yeah that is thougtless of her…bordering on rude but it sounds like she was confiding in you about it.  I don’t know why she would say that out loud.  Just do what everyone else does and return what you don’t want later but always be gracious!  Honestly, I would just give her the piece you already bought.  It was on the registry and it is perfectly appropriate of you.  On the other hand, she may like the China once she receives it and change her mind anyway.

Post # 4
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I kind of feel bad for her.  Sounds like she’s getting steamrolled 🙁

Post # 5
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@CakeyP:  Sounds like she just needed to vent, and the topic was unfortunate considering your recent purchase! I think it is VERY kind of you to return the gift and get her something else, without letting her know that you had already purchased it (aka embarrassing the shit out of her).

Post # 6
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

idk i would prob still give it to her and she can return it if she wants. i guess i’m just lazy lol

Post # 7
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@li612:  I agree, I’d just give it to her (along with the receipt). And then after the shower tell her that you bought it before she told you she didn’t really want the china, and that you’re totally happy for her to return it and get something she really does want instead.

Post # 8
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I would do the same as you – return the china and buy something she really wants. There’s all kind of family drama during wedding planning, the least you can do for someone friendly with you is to try to get something that will really make her smile in spite of pushy grandma.

Post # 9
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@stuckinwonderland:  Same here. I hear way too many stories about brides getting pushed into things that they don’t want. I guess I don’t see how her venting was rude–it’s not like she KNEW that you’d purchased some of it and wanted to make you feel bad.

And instead of being passive aggressive, just return that and purchases something that she’d rather have and will make her smile despite the obvious drama that she’s dealing with.

Post # 10
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No one can force you to put something on your registry.  If she didn’t want China, she shouldn’t have put it on there.  There are too many people pleasers in this world. 

It’s funny because I would be grateful she told me she didn’t want it and you would be spared of a terrible reaction at the shower.  Sorry you have to run around to return it and get something else in time.

Post # 13
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Aww, that sucks! That happened to my work BFF – her mom totally steamrolled her on EVERYTHING with her wedding. To be fair, my friend didn’t care that much, but any opinions she did have her mom didn’t honor. And, same thing – her mom made her register for fine china. This girl and her hubby and backyard BBQ types, and hate cooking – they’ll NEVER use their fine china (registered for 24 sets, recieved all of it), and meanwhile they’re rewashing the same three bowls over and over because hardly anyone got them everyday dishes.

Post # 14
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I can totally relate–  I’m still recovering from last weekend’s registry trip with Mom and Grandma.  I can hold my own usually but I just got worn down and didn’t have the strength to argue with the China when I was saving it to push back on things I really thought were ugly.  It can be miserable and I want to cry when I think about the experience in the store.  It’s too bad there’s no way to prioritize the items– like to tell guests the item’s you’d prefer to get first over others?  Right now I’m registered at Bloomie’s for the china, and bed bath and beyond for everything else, and I’m telling my friends about bed bath and beyond if they ask, so that’s my solution.  What do you all think? 

Post # 15
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@PermaStudent:  +1.  I am in the same boat on the china.  Mom and Grandmother guilted me into it.  I would much rather everyone pool their resources and get me the Dyson vacuum!


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