(Closed) Bought my dress without my mom – now what?

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
1814 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply

I work in a bridal shop and many of my brides are not able to include their moms, usually because the live far away. You could perhaps have her accompany you to any fitting appointments (I know the dress itself fits but do you need it hemmed or a bustle added?). If you really don’t need any altertations perhaps just include her in other aspects such as decor, choosing a cake, etc. You could also do a mini ‘fashion show’ for her in your gown and make a little party of it. 

Post # 3
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

What about switching it to a shopping trip to check out bridesmaids’ gowns? My mom wasn’t with me when I bought mine, but we’re 1500 miles apart so she understands. However, she’ll at least get to shop for a bridesmaid gown with my sister, since I’m letting them choose from several and I won’t be there to do so. 

Post # 4
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Someone I know did this. She went shopping without her mom, and bought her dream dress – the first dress she tried on – the first day. 

She later went back with her mom, but asked the shop employees to pretend they don’t know her. She tried on a few dresses that she knew would not look good, then saved the dream dress til last And pretended she hadn’t already bought it. Lol.

so her mom got the experience of being there to pick it out and all. Not sure if you would want to deceive anyone, but it worked out for her. 

Btw you look incredible in that dress. 

Post # 5
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldnt go through with it, because it will just confuse you and allow them to confuse you if they like something better… your choice has already been made, plus you dont want to waste anyones time at a bridal salon…

you can definitely have them come with you if you choose different accessories than what you were given with the dress such as veil, jewelry and shoes, but no, i wouldnt try on other dresses.

Maybe you can have them over, do a nice brunch or dinner, and show them your dress and accessories so you can still have the experience, also now you can do something bigger to find bridesmaid dresses!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by MissJulianna.
Post # 6
1061 posts
Bumble bee

Wow no advice here but that dress is amazing on you!!! Absolutely breath taking! you are built like a brick shithouse girl fran!!! 

Post # 7
8515 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If I wasn’t in the market for a dress, I wouldn’t want to waste the consultants’ time — they could instead put their efforts into finding a potential customer her dream dress (and getting commission from that sale) rather than helping me try on dresses that I have no intention of buying.

You found your dream dress, and that’s wonderful. So I’d just continue with wedding planning and try to involve your mom/BMs in whatever you can going forward.

Post # 8
104 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think you should go try on other dresses now – once you have a dress, it’s time to stop looking! However, maybe you could go shopping for a veil and accessories with your mum? Even if the dress doesn’t need to be altered, you could always invite the same people you invited to your appointments over to your house, serve champagne and snacks and reveal the dress on you.

Your mum will  be happy that you’ve found your dress and to see you in it – she probably won’t even realise to miss the ‘shopping experience’. On the other hand, the behaviour of your bm is just childish…

Post # 9
3080 posts
Sugar bee

As a MOB, I honestly would not have cared if I didn’t have THEE dress shopping experience, with both of my daughter’s. My 2nd to marry was indecisive and she probably tried on 30 gowns, at 3 different shops. I was having bad dreams, of being stuck in rooms packed with white gowns, and not being able to escape. There were four different bridesmaid gown shopping apointments, too. My Mom went with us, but stopped after the 2nd, because she said “this isn’t fun anymore!”


Post # 10
128 posts
Blushing bee

Is there a Nordstrom bridal shop that carries Vera Wang or a Vera Wang shop in the area? Just go try on the dress again at a shop!

Post # 11
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i also bought my dress without my mom there – so i’m making the fittings more special and involving her more in the veil/jewelry/shoes equation. 

going and pretending that you’re looking for a dress is silly. you know you’re not, she knows you’re not, she’s not going to get all teary eyed and emotional like you think she might because …. you already have a dress and that’s.not.it. 

save yourself the time and energy and make your fitting really special, try on veils, go to high tea – whatever. just don’t go to 2 or 3 (?!) bridal appointments pretending that you’re looking for a dress. 

Post # 12
413 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
MissSweetiepie:  im sorry, i had to reply to this because it made me laugh and also wonder if “built like a brick shithouse” could possibly mean anything different to what i have always thought… please enlighten!


Post # 13
20 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

That dress is gorgeous! Congratulations on finding it!

I had a similar problem, both with the mom and the Bridesmaid or Best Man wanting to go dress shopping but not being able to. I felt like it was not doing the shop a favor to try to accommodate their schedules since they are busy too, and in my mom’s case it would be pretty much impossible to have her come. But it’s okay! I think you’ll find that your mom will be able to help you and be there for you in many other ways! It doesn’t have to be that particular moment! That’s my take, anyway.

Post # 14
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Use the appointments to veil shop instead! (or shop for whatever headpiece and accessories you are looking for). Be sure to call ahead and ask if that’s ok (brining in the dress and trying on veils etc).

<br />It will give you a similar experience together and knock another thing off your to-do list. DO NOT try on any more dresses. You are just asking for disaster there.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Everdeen.
Post # 15
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
gemabride:  You love your dress, dont’ waste anyone else’s time looking for one with your mother.  She’ll understand, instead of dress shopping make a day out of it doing something else wedding related, shoes?  Maybe tasting?  Flowers?

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