Boundaries with overbearing mother-in-law

posted 12 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You won’t be able to set boundaries in any way that she won’t see as a personal attack. Just accept that and save yourselves the heartache and hassle of trying to find that magical painless route. 

The two of you need to be in agreement with those boundaries for sure. Your husband needs to be the one to lay down the law AND to call her out every time she questions and tests those boundaries. He also needs to be a billion percent together with you on this because if he isn’t, she will know, and it will become a giant wedge in your marriage.

Find DWIL Nation for better help and stories with this issue. Admittedly that place can get kind of extreme, but those women and men know their stuff.

Post # 3
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

DWIL will help you. I find them honest, rather than extreme. They’ve seen it all and know what to do and what to expect.

Post # 4
1538 posts
Bumble bee

That’s borderline creepy stalker behaviour! Does she have a husband or any others kids? Hobbies/job?

Post # 5
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

It seems that she doesn’t really have a life of her own and that she can’t let go of the enmeshed relationship she had with him. His feelins are her feelings and his life becomes her life. It’s not healthy for either of them. And I don’t know how openly he would be able to talk to her about it. She needs to learn to respect your boundaries. I think her going to a professional and talk about it in order to be able to let go of her son a reflection of her own, would be the best.

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