Post # 1
Hmm and hmm. Fi and I are doing a bouquet and garter toss at our wedding, because I just love wedding traditions and dammit we’re doing it! Haha. But I can’t figure out exactly how I want it to go. You see, my Maid/Matron of Honor and her boyfriend (a groomsman) have been together for years and years. She was the type who never actually wanted to go through with getting married — she was content to just stay with him forever without actually signing the papers. But throughout the process of being my Maid/Matron of Honor and helping me with wedding stuff and seeing how excited I am to get married, she’s started to rethink, and has expressed that maybe getting married wouldn’t be so bad after all (her boyfriend wants to; he’s just waiting on her to give him the green light). So, I think it would be very cute for them to end up with the bouquet and garter. In that case, I’d even go through with the sometimes-awkward practice of having the garter-catcher put it on the bouquet-catcher, since when the pair are actually a couple, it’s cute instead of awkward!
But, my brother and his girlfriend have also been together a million years, and finally both graduated college … so maybe they’re on the brink of getting engaged too! And my cousin has been with the same guy for a while … maybe they’re also on the brink of getting engaged? I don’t know! All I know is, when you’re on the brink of getting engaged, catching the bouquet can be really fun (whereas when you’re single … it’s just a little sad) … so will these other people be annoyed if we call all the single ladies up but I just lob the bouquet directly at my MOH? Should I just call her up and give it to her directly? She’s pretty shy and might not like that … and I am rather attached to the idea of actually tossing the bouquet.
What Fi and I were hoping to do is that I basically do a fake-out throw while backwards, then turn around and underhand toss the bouquet directly at the Maid/Matron of Honor. Then Fi will take the garter and slingshot it at MOH’s boyfriend’s head from two feet away. It will be funny. Then he puts it on his girlfriend, everyone thinks it is adorable, the party resumes. And my brother’s long-long term girlfriend stands there thinking, “well this is some BS.” (maybe. Or maybe she appreciates not being pressured into talking marriage when she’s been with the guy for five years so obviously they’ve got some sort of plan of their own in mind)
What do you think of my plan? Will the other girls be irritated that they didn’t get a chance to catch it, or will they be glad that the spotlight is reserved for someone else?
Post # 3
I’d say just have a normal toss.
Post # 4
My Fi got the garter via slingshot at the last wedding we went to before he proposed. Everyone thought it was pretty funny. Most weddings around here don’t do the put-the-garter-on thing so they just threw the bouquet like normal but in my general direction.
Post # 5
Speaking as a shy gal:
Even if Fiance and I had been at a wedding the DAY before we got engaged – you know, when I was DYING for him to just ask already, we’d had the talk and decided that we wanted to get married, he’d asked my dad (my parents are TERRIBLE at keeping secrets) and he’d been indulging me and looking at rings for months – I’d have wanted to sink through the floor and vanish if my BFF had HANDED me her bouquet. I’d have taken it as “Hey, it’s about time you two hurry up and get serious too!”
Sure, the other guests will all chuckle – unless one of the girls REALLY WANTED to catch that flower toss – but I think you risk making the Maid/Matron of Honor uncomfortable if she really is shy and she’s been opposed to marriage prior to helping plan yours.
Do the regular toss. If one of the girls in a long term relationship catches the bouquet your new hubby (!!) can sling-shot the garter at her man. Or he can still choose to send it right at your MOH’s guy… since he seems to be onboard with the idea of them getting hitched, and you don’t mention him being shy.
Post # 6
My best friend rigged their toss. They did the garter first, and her hubby aimed it at my now fiance. It pretty much landed on him. So then it was obvious that I should catch the bouquet. We line up, and her husband was directing her where to throw so that i catch it. Nobody else even tried to get it, since they all knew we are together. So I caught it, and surprise,I was the next to get engaged.
Post # 7
Thanks for the insight! I’m not shy at all, and a YEAR before Fi and I got engaged I caught a bouquet at a wedding that was basically thrown right to me. I thought it was hilarious and loved sauntering up to then-boyfriend and waving it in his face. But I tend to forget that not everyone is me
Sounds like the better solution is to toss it in her general direction but otherwise let things play out on their own! Maybe I’ll throw it realllllllllllllly high in the air so they have more time to jockey for position, haha. She who wants it more, gets it!!! If my unattached cousin gets it, we’ll just skip the put-the-garter-on thing, and if one of the attached ladies gets it, Fi will make sure her man gets the garter.
Post # 8
I like the bouquet toss cause I think it’s a fun tradition if you don’t take it too seriously. When it’s ‘rigged’ for someone to catch it, it kinda takes the fun out of it for me. Like the rest of us were just props for a cute photo. So my vote is definately just do it and see let it play out how it does.
Post # 9
A friend of mine got married last summer. Her brother was proposing to his gf the next day so the bride walked over and handed her the bouquet. She had no idea what was going on.
Post # 10
I’m not a fan of this tradition, but the idea of rigging it does not appeal to me at all. While one may think this is cute and that the two involved would love it or find it amusing, you can’t really tell. They might really dislike that focus of attention on them. I know I would hate to have that pin-pointed on me. I’d just keep the tradition as is.
Post # 11
If the idea is that it’s by luck that you catch the bouquet/ garter and that that luck means that you will be the next to marry, then there’s no point in doing the toss if it’s rigged because there’s no luck involved.
Plus if there is possibly more than one couple in attendance that might be engaged soon, it seems just rude to rig it not to mention the other single guests that you are pulling out of their seats to be basically be props.