Boy Has NO Chill!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is he heading toward engagement?
    YES : (57 votes)
    51 %
    NO : (23 votes)
    21 %
    maybe : (31 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Your Boyfriend or Best Friend sounds annoying AF but if that’s what you’re into… enjoy!

    Post # 47
    Member
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Oh and yeah, this is written like some really bad erotica… “I feel a sensation”. “deflowered”. 

    L to the OL

    Post # 48
    Member
    718 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Innerdonught :  seconded. This whole thread sounds a little fake to me to be honest. You’re talking to normal people, I’m sure in normal conversation you don’t speak in such flowery romance novel tones (and if you do I feel sorry for those people you converse with BC frankly it’s too much lmao)

    also there’s absolutely nothing wrong with living together before marriage, I highly recommend getting to know your SO on that level of intimiacy before proceeding. I know plenty of couples who have gotten engaged then gone out and bought houses together only to break up because living together wasn’t working out for them. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    5161 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    bombasticbee :  “I said: “… but, excuse me, do I know you, sir?” (voice most certainly raised, albeit very gamely).”

    undecided

    It is hard to believe you two are in your 30s. I am with @Innerdonught in that your Boyfriend or Best Friend sounds as annoying as fuck, and the fact you two can’t seem to talk like actual mature adults (all these silly language games and prose…even teenagers are not this bad) does not bode well for how you two are going to deal when shit gets real. You two sound like you are acting out roles in a play, not actually developing, you know, true intimacy. But good luck I suppose.

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    bombasticbee :  You’re now telling us how you come across? Coz it sure ain’t ” pedantic and transactional “

    Post # 54
    Member
    5916 posts
    Bee Keeper

    bombasticbee :  I refrained from being blunt in my earlier posts because I didn’t want to be mean, I felt a little sorry for you TBH….because to be honest darling, you are a Wannabe. At first you came off as rather quaint and naive, but with each post you sound more and more supercilious and frankly ridiculous. I wasn’t even going to comment, initially, on the utter cringeworthiness of him ‘chirruping’ until you chose to retract the mannered* veneer enough to take the gloves off and go on the offensive. 

    Because you do sound intelligent, definitely educated, but in trying too hard to imitate the styles of literary greats, in being too self-conscious and affected in your writing, it comes off as awkward and pretentious and TBH, you are grasping above your reach with many of the words you don’t use quite correctly (it makes me think of Diane on Cheers)

    *mannered- this does not mean ‘using manners’ just to clarify as you’ve misinterpreted this. Mannered = artificial, stilted, and over-elaborate in delivery. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2676 posts
    Sugar bee

                    

    RobbieAndJuliahaha :   Pretty accurate–I was thinking pretentious twaddle last night and this morning doesn’t change my mind…

    Post # 56
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee

    bombasticbee :  And, um, yes. Deflowered was very much intentional. It was purposely juxtaposed to the word fuck — aw, screw it. Educating you on the finer points of sarcasm is NOT the objective of this thread.

    No. Your ~cutting wit~ is just dull af (that’s a plebian abbreviation for “as fuck.”) You’ve watched too much Moffat television and read too much of the same AO3 authors and it is informing your interactions more than it should.

    For someone who thinks of herself as a competent writer you sure are tone-deaf when it comes to using language appropriate for the medium. You’re on an internet forum writing like you’re using an ostritch feather quill on vellum. It’s mealy-mouthed and long-winded and does not display the intelligence you think it does. It does matter because it is a hindrance, not an asset, in the context of an online advice forum. Try being concise and economic in your word choice instead of roleplaying some kind of Dickensian dowager. You’re not being paid per syllable here.

    Back to the point (excuse me, objective) of this thread: I agree with other posters who disapprove of your boyfriend’s behavior. I think it’s creepy that he makes wild presumptions about your time–demanding every weekend of your life for the next two years is not realistic or reasonable, let alone romantic. A thirty year old man making a show of yanking a ring off your finger in public instead of having a simple conversation about engagement is not endearing.

    I think he might be a cool novelty for you for a little while more but I can’t see how either of you will cope when shit stops being whimsical and you have to speak directly about a totalled car or a dying parent. You both seem more interested in keeping it cute and topical than sharing any kind of vulnerability. That’s fine for dating but it is a god awful foundation for a marriage. Good luck.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Duplicate

    Post # 58
    Member
    5161 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Speck_ :  On the point of being concise and economic, Dr. Suess said it well:

     ‘So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.’

    Post # 59
    Member
    718 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    RayKay :  THIS. 

    OP You are in actuality a terrible writer. I’ve been told by several people that my writing is good (I won’t say what they said because I’m not bragging) and I’ve been writing since I can remember, so take it from someone who knows what they are talking about to some degree, also as an avid reader: your writing literally makes my eyes glaze over and your wit isn’t wit but a lack of social graces, you sound like you have a theasarus in front of you trying to use bigger words to sound more intelligent when it only serves to make you sound pompous. Please do not ever try to take up a career in journalism or writing because you will starve to death.

    This thread is entirely fake and I’d bet anyone here $20 bucks that you are a single wannabe without any prospects in sight, but I’m afraid no one will take me up on my bet.  

     Also do you even know what pedantic means? Because it legit makes no sense in the context you’ve used it. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    160 posts
    Blushing bee

    Sooo, not quite so sure why you have gotten such a negative response from so many, but I will have to agree with previous posters that both the content and tone of your posts is a little smug and off-putting. Certainly unique. 

    But that aside I will say congratulations for having found a man and relationship that makes you happy and that you are excited about! He is obviously serious about you, but whether an engagement is really around the corner or a year + from now only he knows (but maybe something you could talk about if you want). Enjoy this part while it lasts. Your relationship timeline does not sound too fast or too slow to me – in fact it fairly closely mirrors the first year of my relationship. We decided that each other was “the one” about 6 months into our relationship and seriously started organizing our futures together within the year. Now we are about 3.5 years in and still not engaged. Started dating at 25 and have been in school, but just pointing out that he could propose tomorrow or two years from now and still be serious about your relationship and future.

    Also while I was head over heels for him then, I have to admit now that I didn’t really KNOW him. At least not the way I do now. Our relationship then was wonderful and now is wonderful but so different. We have been through so much more together good and bad, accomplished so much, been tested individually and as a couple, and built a life together. I would have married him at year 1 but I feel so much more confident and secure in him and in us now. Alternatively, I have seen a lot of my friend’s relationships falter after the one year mark. The honeymoon period is a real thing and difficult to evaluate when you are in it — be happy and optimistic but just don’t underestimate that 🙂 Good luck!! 

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors