(Closed) Boyfriend ADAMANT about having a wedding, but I have other ideas…

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Could you compromise with a family only wedding? That way you don’t have to feel pressured to invite aquaintences you would be uncomfortable with but he still gets wedding?

Post # 4
11349 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think if one person truly has his or her heart set on having a wedding in front of family and friends, and the other person does not want that, that the one who does not want it would do well to honor the one who wants it, as long as the wedding is affordable.

If it turns out that 99 percent of the guests are family and friends of your SO, that’s OK.  You don’t need to separate guests into groups that sit on the bride’s and groom’s sides.  You don’t have to have a bachelorette party.  If a group of your SO’s family or friends would like to host a shower for you, I would graciously accept, even if they are not people with whom you are close.

This clearly is EXTREMELY important to your SO. I would not ask him to forgo having wedding when it obviously is so significant to him. It sounds as if your willingness to do this for him would be one of the biggest gifts you could offer to him.

Post # 5
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You can have a really nice small scale wedding. It’s all in the details, not attendance.

Post # 7
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@klindzee:  You said you have one close friend and that the bridal party issue worries you… see if your SO is willing to compromise and have one best man and one maid of honor instead of a whole huge bridal party.

Post # 8
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s so funny, my fiance is the COMPLETE opposite. He’s so laid-back (see: doesn’t give a crap) about everything. Mind you, I don’t want a big wedding anyway. I’m just glad he’s not busting my (figurative) balls about it all.

Post # 9
20 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

I have a slightly similar situation. Im having my wedding at a place where I have lost all my old friend connection (because I moved away). This is due to parents wanting to have it in the hometown. However, my wedding list just doubled in size because of the people my parents have to invite (being their hometown and where I grew up), which means, No intimate wedding for me, and HEAPS of people i barely know!

But im ok with it now… because I really thought about it, and realized, If i get to marry my partner, the other things shouldnt matter too much. That being said, try and find a compromise because I have when it was something REALLY important to me!!


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