Post # 1
I do not snoop through my boyfriends things first of all. We were in Vegas on Vacation and he took photos of me and I wanted to look at them, so he gave me the phone to find them. Clicked on the wrong folder and got into the “downloaded” folder. Lucky me, found a bunch of photos of a girl in her underwear posing on HER BED. Very sexy and innapropriate photos. When I showed It to him he got nervous, and said he took the photos on an old phone 4 years ago and forgot about it. He had been through three phone since we have been dating for two years, so I really doubt that is true he would still have the photos.
Also, the photos were in a downloaded photo folder, which means he got it from a text. What make me think it is recent is the photos were in front of a photo of me and him I took a few months ago and sent him. So if they were ahead of that photo they must have been recent, right?
I want to believe him, but what he says does not make sense! What do you guys think? I do not have concrete proof they are not old, so do not want to acuse him. 🙁
Post # 3
I would give him a very firm warning that if you find out he’s cheating on you that you will slice off his balls and leave him to rot in a gutter. Tell him that the photos are suspicious as hell and if you get so much as a whiff that he is jerking off to other women he’ll be jerking off all he likes because he sure as hell won’t be getting any more from you after you dump his sorry jerk off self.
that is horrible OP. I caught my ex cheating by finding a text in his phone. I hope he proves innocent but this is a bright red warning sign. 🙁
Post # 4
@KellyLouise: You go girl! Wouldn’t want to piss you off
OP, I agree it’s pretty suspicious. I guess you can press him more for answers but that might backfire if he is telling the truth. I would wait it out and keep an eye open just to make sure he isn’t doing anything shady. I also hope he’s innocent, good luck.
Post # 5
Ummm yeah, you know your boyfriend better then us. If your instincts are telling you something is off, then it most likely is.
Post # 6
XD Kelly your answer made me laugh. Thanks for the advice guys. 🙂 I will try to talk to him, but he gets very defensive when I do not believe him right off the bat. I caught him lying a few times before, so find it hard to believe without proof. Ugh. Sucks.
Post # 7
I would question him the same way you just did here. “How can they be from four years ago when they’re ahead of pics of me/in the download/text file?” Grill him like you’re a roast master.
It’s not an accusation if you’re asking questions. I’ve had similar experiences and regret not being as firm as I could have been. Don’t accept something you feel is bullpoop because it probably is. Be firm. Don’t back down.
Post # 8
@jubial: I’d be very suspicious, especially how nervous and defensive he gets/becomes when you ask questions. I certainly hope he’s not cheating on you, but I’d be on high-alert. Good luck!!
What she said!! –> KellyLouise
Post # 9
@jubial: tell him you want the truth. Point out that his story doesn’t add up. And tell him if he wants to be in a committed relationship with you, then sending questionable messages or sharing pics with other girls is NOT appropriate. Ask him if he would be okay with you doing the same as he is. Chances are, he will say no. It’s fine to delete those pictures, but if he’s not going to stop his inappropriate behaviour, then you really deserve better.
If you think about the 3 phones thing – he would have had to transfer them to the new phones. So if he’s telling the truth about how old they are, why has he gone to the effort to put them on the new phone? Either way you add it up, he is in the wrong.
I’m sorry this is happening to you 🙁
Post # 10
When you get a new phone you can opt to transfer your pictures/other media as well as your contacts, so that part could be true. I know that I personally went through two cell phones before I found some really old pictures of my ex.
With that being said though, it is strange that he still has them in a downloaded folder and that he got defensive about them. I wouldn’t accuse him of anything just yet, just ask him why he still has the pictures and if he would be ok deleting them.
Post # 11
You 100% caught him, he has alot of explaining to do, and you have a decision to make!
Post # 12
It sort of makes sense that he would be defensive, even if he wasn’t guilty. I mean, those are pretty hefty charges and he knows what it looks like is happening.
I’m just saying – the jury’s still out.
Other bees have got you covered – do everything you can to get the truth out and make sure he knows exactly what is at stake. Please let us know how it goes…
Post # 13
He’s defensive BECAUSE he’s hiding something. He knows he did wrong.
It could have just ended with the photos, or it could have gone further.
Post # 14
@jubial: Guilty! If the large pool of Bees who have posted similar circumstances are any indication. Seriously. I don’t buy it for the reasons you stated. Just be mindful that you may not be the most objective person to decide because consciously or subconsciously you want him to be innocent.
Post # 15
I don’t neccessarily think it means he is cheating. Why would he have voluntarily given you his phone if he had something to hide? Hypothetically speaking if he WAS cheating he would be extra cautious about you finding ANYTHING on his phone. What if you were holding it and a text popped up from whoever this chick is? I think he legitimately forgot they were on there or else he wouldn’t have even handed you the phone.
Post # 16
@KellyLouise: +1. And BRAVO!
I hope it’s an honest mistake… but I know it would be very difficult for me to believe anything he says at this point without really damn good proof.