- 3 months ago
My boyfriend and I recently fought and it was all my fault. The relationship is new (2 months) and we’re still figuring things out. We are also in a long-distance relationship .
One day he told me he was sick from over fatigue and didn’t tell me about it until I messaged him. That pissed me off so I snapped with “how would I know?” I started to pick a fight with him and told me to stop because it’s not helping the situation.
I told him I feel bad that I’m not there to take care of him. My emotions got the better of me and I ended up saying things I shouldn’t. One being what set everything off: I broke up with. Even told him he’s better off without me. I knew I should think twice in sending that message, but I sent it. He read it and after a few hours later I apologized for my behavior.
He didn’t respond on my messages so the next day I asked him if he’s still mad at me. He said “no, I’m just being silent.” He then said that he’s always been patient of my outbursts but what happened yesterday was just alarming and he needs time to think and recover from his sickness.
The next day I apologized again and this time he told me that hr doesn’t think he can go on. He told me the following things which were hurtful:
“You’ve hurt me so much.”
” i guess I won’t go on. I’ll just get the love and longiness from my kids”. (he’s a single dad)
“i’m bad at handling trauma and you already gave me one”
“Never in my life I met someone who made me feel mentally exhausted”
“i thought by adding you in my life, my problem would lessen, but you actually added it”
He sent me a lot of messages saying that I’m selfish and that I’m just adding to his existing problems. I was crying because it felt like talking to an entirely different person. I asked him to give me another chance and he said “I can’t right now, you’re not helping in my recovery “
Now I’m actually confused if he did mean to break up with because he sounded uncertain. But at the same time he said that he needs to compose himself. I stopped messaging him and wonder if that breakup was official because he seemed unsure of it. He used words like “I think” and “I guess” like for example he said “I guess I should leave” instead of “I should leave”.
At this rate I just don’t know if he wants to go back to me after the pain I put him through. I hurt him so bad and I know no amount of apologies can make him feel better. What should I do at this point? I’m going to give him time, but is it going to work seeing I gave him trauma from sending him a breakup message that I didn’t mean?