(Closed) Boyfriend doesn't admit when he is wrong

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee

I’m betting this may continue to cause problems in your relationship.  Having someone try to provey ou wrong over something as unimportant as whether you’re 16 as a freshman may be a way your Fiance decides he doesn’t want to live.  

You say your Fiance won’t admit when he’s wrong, it sounds like you won’t let unimportant things go.  Maybe both of you have some work to do.  

 

   

Post # 3
Member
7426 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Having to be right all the time is just as annoying as never admitting when you’re wrong. Honestly, it sounds like you get fixated on silly things, and that will be destructive in your life. Nobody wants to be around someone who is always pointing out when they’re wrong.

Post # 4
Member
10541 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Is being right worth the argument? 

Post # 5
Member
9081 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You won’t let unimportant arguments go, it sounds.

What’s more important to you? Being right, or being happy? You can’t have both. Choose one.

Post # 6
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

You sound pretty annoying, honestly. Nobody likes a know it all.

You need to learn when to just bite your lip and not start an argument because it’s not worth it and you will likely deteroriate your relationship if you keep on this path. Who cares if he was 14 or 16 at the time? Really? 

Post # 7
Member
7426 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

What’s funny about this situation is that you’re not  admitting when you’re wrong either.

Post # 8
Member
3577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

You should have let that go. It doesn’t seem healthy to correct something like that. Who cares if he was 15 or 16? If you’d let that go this argument would not have taken place. You wouldn’t have had anything to be right about, nor him wrong.

He took that incredibly far to call his mom. At any point during that you could have just said “Whatever, you’re right. I’m sorry, let’s get back to the story.” And it would have been over.

I think if this is a recurring issue in the relationship, you have to make a decision: What’s more important to you? Being right, or the health of the relationship?

Ask yourself that when these issues are arising. And if you can’t bring yourself to let out a “you’re right”, then you two aren’t a functional match. Hopefully you decide to begin being the bigger person, and so does he. Because refusing to be wrong and having to be right are the same trait. And if you both have it things will be rough.

Good luck, bee.

Post # 9
Member
4241 posts
Honey bee

No one likes a person who always has to prove other people wrong. It’s exhausting and your boyfriend is probably digging in his heels because he’s sick of it. 

Post # 10
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

There is a saying: do you want to be right, or do you want to be married? In other words, if you want to be in a long term relationship, there needs to be give and take and getting legalistic about details that don’t matter is a sure path to failure. 

Post # 11
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

Honestly, I think it’s you causing problems in your relationship. In the first two sentences, you basically admit that.

I feel sorry for your boyfriend, as well as others in your life, who you feel the need to “control” by proving them wrong then writing about it on an internet forum.

Who truly cares about his age in this story? He was sharing a part of his life and you jumped on him because you need to prove him wrong. 

Keep doing that and he, along with others you do this to, will stop sharing and the relationship(s) will start to fade away.

Is that worth always proving people wrong?

Post # 12
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You always want to be right. He  wants to be rlight. You’re at an impasse in this situation. You just have to decide how long you want to deal with it 

Post # 13
Member
7589 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like your need to be right is a bigger issue here…

Post # 14
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
alexa62:  The other bees may sound harsh, but they are correct.

I totally know where your coming from, as I am a know it all too, and I hate to be wrong! 

I get it from my grandma, she is exactly the same and the amount of time’s we’ve ended up in a yelling argument because of a trivial part of a story is too many times to count.

I used to annoy my Fiance a lot by doing what you are doing – and he hates to be proven wrong too. For instance if he was telling a story and he said ‘me and John’ I would automatically correct him to ‘John and I’, without even thinking.  I would also fixate on things like you’ve described, where the age doesn’t match up.  I wasn’t trying to be a bitch, or show him he’s wrong, it was honestly a knee-jerk reaction.

It was unproductive to both of us however, so I made a conscious effort not to correct him unless it was actually important and beneficial to, such as if he was telling someone the wrong date for a dinner or the like.  You need to have a look at your own behaviour before you can ask him to modify his.  Maybe if you only correct him when it is important, he will aknowledge you are correct? 

Post # 15
Member
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

You sound exhausting. You focusing on irrelevant minor details in a story he is trying to relate about his life, just to be right, prove or point, or exert control? Ugh.

I think you need to take a look here at your own actions here.

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