- 7 years ago
I’m having a vexing communication problem with my boyfriend. He has a hearing problem and prefers to text which is fine. He doesn’t like talking on the phone. Its been that way since we have been together which has been over a year. I own my business and see him almost every Wednesday evening and on weekends. He works during the week while I have to work Saturday and Sunday so we spend the evenings together.
Anyway, lately it often takes him anywhere from an hour to two hrs to return my texts. He used to send me random texts from work during the day but has been promoted so I don’t hear from him until after five which is not an issue. When he gets home he showers, eats, crashes on the couch to watch tv or play Xbox. He doesn’t go out at all.
He’s gotten so caught up with his Xbox that he’ll go as far as to text me or return my messages in-between games which can take half an hour to an hour. At night we usually text good night, miss you ect. Now he often doesn’t reply or say goodnight, waits until the next morning. He claims that he falls asleep on the couch which is often true, but he also admitted that he is up playing Xbox and doesn’t want to stop playing.
So its like telling your boyfriend I love you and goodnight and he is staring at the TV like a zombie transfixed, lol
This has been making me feel like I’m on stand by and I’m starting to get angry about it. I went through my text log and realized we don’t text a whole lot, maybe 5 to 6 text per night. I don’t think I’m smothering him, he initiates a lot of the messages.
The irony of all this is he sometimes likes to joke that I talk too much when I’m over. I mean seriously, I see him three times a week from 5:30 to 11pm and we text a few times during the day. This last Sunday he played on his Xbox for an hour and a half while I sat next to him knitting, I didn’t complain or act annoyed, he had his head set on. Its not like I’m on his case.
I don’t want to be a “nagging” girlfriend <eye roll> and have tried to gently get the point across to him that he’s being rude by mirroring his behavior. I have tried taking as long as him to return messages or even double the time which he sometimes seems to straighten out to. Or I shut off my phone and get chores done or call my girlfriend ect,.
I’m thinking of telling him that for now on I’m shutting my cell down at night to conserve the battery life, if he feels like talking he can let me know when he has time and is not distracted. Or he can call me on my land line if its important.
When we are together he is very affectionate, loving and says how much he loves me and would be lost without me. But the rest of the week when I don’t see him I feel he has become distant. It has been making me feel insecure although I don’t show this to him. I wonder if he’s losing interest and using his Xbox as an excuse to avoid me. Or maybe this has to do with work stress due to him getting promoted into a managers position.
At any rate, I don’t think its healthy to feel this way, any suggestions? Should I just straight out tell him what I have said here or do what I said up above.