- 1 year ago
I was horrified at the selfishness and rampant insecurity that came through in every word in your post.
First, you receive an invite to a family wedding but instead of being gracious, snarkily comment that “there is no marriage timeline so I can’t see them as my family one day.” You decline said invitation. Fine. That is your perfect right.
Then, you contradict yourself in that, even though you have said you are not planning marriage to your boyfriend and feel no loyalty to his family, you want him to behave the same as your ex-husband. The ex-husband whom you divorced. Who is your ex. And has no bearing on this relationship.
You want him to decline to attend a very special family event to sit at home with you. You give no thought whatsoever to the bride and groom, whose special day it is. Everyone must be deprived of your boyfriend’s company because you feel insecure.
You say you support this family vacation, but you are only paying lip service to that. If you truly were supportive, you would wish him a good time and tell him you hope it goes well. I cannot believe you would expect him to miss out on a special occasion like this, that he will not have an opportunity to do again for a long time, to sit at home with you.
AND even though he has never cheated, or given you any reason to think he is anything other than a devoted, faithful boyfriend, you attribute all kinds of “looking” behaviour to him and think it is your role to “call him out” on this? Where do you come from? A trustworthy person deserves so much better than this.
As for this him not missing you nonsense, you need a reality check:
* A person is entitled to time alone and with their friends. Even when they are married or in a relationship. They are entitled to enjoy it.
* You spoke on the phone every day. I’m assuming you texted as well. It’s not as if he disappeared or said he didn’t love you any more.
* It was THREE FREAKING DAYS. I very frequently don’t miss my boyfriend when we are apart for that long. I have a life. I have other things going on. If I miss him, I tell him and he tells me. But demanding to know if he has missed me and getting all sulky if he hasn’t? That’s needy and controlling. And I’ve got news for you: it will make someone pull away from you, and miss you even less.
* If you actually have to ask someone if they miss you, it really loses its meaning.
You really need to learn to just let go and let your boyfriend be himself, and learn how to make yourself happy. You put waaaay too much on him and it is unattractive. And you will lose him. Your behaviour is very controlling and self-centred.