So I think your problem is that you have a certain relationship “expectation” that your boyfriend make the effort to contact you more when out of the country. Who knows where that comes from. It could be unwarranted jealousy, it could be warranted suspicion, it could be lack of family affection or consistency growing up. Whatever. It’s a need you’re identifying that you have. You have two options in front of you.
1.) Analyze the need, decide it’s silly, based in unhealthy emotions (unwarranted jealousy for instance), and that you don’t actually want to validate it. You want to “pahse it out,” so to speak.
Down this path, you tell your boyfriend about your feelings, let him know you think they aren’t healthy and you will work on them, then you do that work when he’s gone. You plan ahead of time to fill up your day or night, you set your expectation to NOT hear from him, etc. Eventually, if nothing shady’s going on, and you consistently work against this need, you can get rid of it.
2.) Analyze the need, decide yes, I DO need this – it’s something I would want/need to feel happy in ANY relationship, not just this one. It has nothing to do with jealousy or not trusting this person, this is just the level of consideration I want in a relationship.
From here, you sit your boyfriend down and just fill him in. I’ve idetified that this is a need I have in a relationship, and I need to know if you will make the effort to meet that need or not. I don’t need constant contact, but I do need consistency, I need some effort from you to acknowledge me when you’re away. It’s as simple as stealing away to the “bathroom” before, during, or after dinner and having a short 5 minute text convo with me.
^^I did this with my boyfriend who has ADHD very early into our relationship. He would text bomb me for a few days and then randomly go MIA for a day and then back to text bombing and it was starting to make me resent him b/c I have a high need for consistency. So before my mind could go anywhere negative, I just honestly told him about this need of mine, he tried to say his ADHD meant he most likely COULDN’T meet that need, and I said, ok that means we are not compatible and should go our separate ways, and boy did his tune change!
I wasn’t being manipulative or coercive, or throwing out ultimatums. I was a person who had identified certain needs I have to be happy in a relationship, and I communicated them non-emotionally to my boyfriend and asked if he felt he could meet them. Obviously I’m not going to waste more than a few months dating someone who I’m not fundamentally compatible with.