(Closed) Boyfriend going through major difficulties and wants to be friends for now

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

I guess maybe im in the minority based on the responses I read on page one.

I would not be able to handle this. Being committed to someone is simple. Maybe they wouldn’t work on issues or try to talk about anythin gmajor but putting the OP on hold while he gets through this and still expecting her to be there is complete crap. I would not be devoting myself to someone in that way if they were stringing me along. I understand pain can change your personality but it wouldn’t change whether or not you wanted to be with someone. what if they were already married? would he say “ok I don’t want to be married right now wait til I recover and we can be a married couple again”. No he wouldn’t. If I were in the OP’s situation I would probably be a good person and be there for him but I would not be putting myself on hold for someone who isn’t even sure he wants to be with me.

I just can’t wrap my mind around the idea that his condition has the ability to change the basic idea of whether or not the OP is who he wants to be with.

Marriage is for better or worse and this is him at his worst. A woman who is willnig to be there through this kind of situation is someone who deserves committment. Even if it only means a simple declaration of “yes we are a couple”. Being friends and in some kind of limbo wouldn’t work for me.

OP, I’m sorry youar ein such a difficult situation. Stay and be there for him if that’s what you want to do. But please don’t put yourself on hold for him. If the opportunity arises see other people and live your life. You can be there for him without acting like you are taken. As it stands, you are not. don’t consider yourself his until he considers himself yours.

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