(Closed) boyfriend having more friends than me

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Mexico

I know this is hard. I’ve had similar feelings. My boyfriend of a year and I have started talking more about wanting to get married in the future, and when I picture the wedding, I get anxiety thinking about how many bridesmaids I’d be able to have. My boyfriend on the other hand has tons of close friends who he sees multiple times a week. He was previously married once years ago and had 7 groomsmen and had really struggled to narrow the list down to only 7. I’m the opposite and tend to be more introverted and have a harder time making new friends. I have two friends I’d be comfortable asking and then two more who I used to be close with, but have grown more distant over the years with moving further apart, busy lives, etc. and we only catch up over the phone or e-mail every few months or so. Those ones tend to be flakier with plans, so I don’t even know if I’d be able to count on them to attend my wedding, let alone be part of my bridal party. I can relate to the stress your feeling with it when it’s supposed to be a happy event to think about. My boyfriend knows that I don’t have a large social circle and he’s really nice about it. He introduces me to his friends’ girlfriends and wives when we go out and makes an extra effort to include me in things. I’m sure your boyfriend loves you for you the way you are and his feelings won’t change if you move in together over something like how many friends you have.

Post # 5
652 posts
Busy bee

@weddingguest101:  it’s never too late to make new friends, or make an effort to make your work friends closer friends! But at the end, it’s all about your personality if you are an introvert or extrovert. And it takes effort to make a friendship blossom.

but do remember, quality > quantity

Post # 6
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Is there a reason why you don’t have more friends?  Not saying there is anything wrong with you, but once you figure out the obstacle, you can focus on building new friendships.  Regardless of a wedding, it’s always good to have your own friends. 

My SO and I are the opposite where I’m the one with a regular group of friends and he very rarely hangs out with any of his friends. He doesn’t have many friends here because (a) he’s naturally more of a homebody, (b) the few friends that he does have don’t share common interests with him.  Like you, we only see each other Fri to Sun.  I try to get him to be more social because we have had problems where he complains that we’re always seeing my friends.  Well that’s because he doesn’t make plans with his friends even though I encourage him all the time!  I don’t resent him at all but I do wish that he had more friends because I think it would be good for him.

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