Post # 1
Okay, so I’ve posted here a bit, but in the past month or so have been trying to stay OFF of Wedding Bee because I’ve been trying to not think/obsess over waiting so much…
My boyfriend and I haven’t been together very long, only 8 months… but he is very vocal about wanting to be with me forever and wanting to marry me. What has been driving me crazy is that he won’t give me ANY kind of timeline at all, if I ask he’ll say “could be 10 months, could be 10 years” and then he gets all “we’re going to be together forever, what’s the rush?”
Anyway, waiting was driving me crazy so my therapist suggested I ask him to stop talking about “forever” and the “the future” until he was willing to give me a timeline, so we could focus on the present instead, etc. So I did that, and as soon as I told him he immediately told me “within two years,” which made me feel much better… 2 years is a timeline I’m willing to work with…
BUT ever since then he has way ramped up the marriage talk… he asked me if I wanted him to ask my parents, he just talks about “when I’m married” in casual conversation and stuff… and it is really driving me BONKERS! I wish he would just shut up, because at this point I KNOW it’s not coming any time soon. On one hand, I guess it’s nice that it’s on his mind, but on the other, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Oy. I love him, but he needs to SHUT IT UP. LOL.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Post # 3
@laughs: Mine is doing the same thing (I posted a thread a week or so ago about if theres a shut it up pact for SOs). I totally feel ya. He thinks he’s being so cute and funny. Today I texted him to tell him I got to work and he wrote back “I love you my beautiful (my name + his last name)” I wrote back “Not my name, pal.” And I get some “not yet ;)” text back.
I think its payback for me bugging him so much the last 2 years: now he knows i’m trying not to discuss it, he’s going to do it.
Post # 4
@badabing88: ha! thanks fot your response! men! they think theyre soooooo funny!
Post # 5
maybe he’s planning to propose sooner than ‘within 2 years’?
Post # 6
I don’t really understand what the problem is about talking about it with each other? You guys SHOULD be having important marriage talks long before you’re engaged so you guys know that you’re on the same page with things like finances, kids, religion, etc, etc. Why would you wait to have these conversations until you’re engaged when you’re already very much invested? Or worse, never talk about it and get married and figure it all out down the line when it’s harder to get out.
Post # 7
@MrsWBS: Hmmm… I didn’t really perceive the complaints as “avoiding talking about marriage” period. I’m sure the OP and PPs are cool with serious talks about the future (money issues, stance on kids, etc.) – it’s more the silly jokes SOs make about being married/engaged when the GFs are trying to patiently wait. I know my SO is serious about our timeline, but he also tells everyone at the bar when drunk that I’m his “future wife,” blah blah blah. It’s like, “If you see me that way, PROPOSE already!” I understand the frustration.
Post # 8
exactly! whenever my bf wants to have serious conversations about marriage i am totally fine with that, the frustration is with him talking about marriage NOW when he has told me he doesnt want to start having the more serious conversations for a while.
i dont think he is… there is no way he’s close to having a ring,and i really dont think he’s even thought about those kinds of details at all yet
Post # 9
@laughs: Oh, I gotcha! Well, at least you know it will come at some point! 🙂 Enjoy your stress free relationship before the planning craziness hits! good luck!