(Closed) Boyfriend never makes plans

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
191 posts
Blushing bee

ALL THE TIME! I have no advice for you as this is something we are struggling with all the time. I am always suggesting new places to go/things to do, while SO is content sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games. I’ve just come to accept it as a personality difference between us. I’m a crazy planner and he just lets me do the planning. I would love it if he would come up with something just once in a while, but ah, I think I am stuck being the planner in the relationship. I can totally relate.

Post # 4
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

How long have you and your SO been together? Honestly we were together for at least 2-3 years before my Fiance started being romantic all on his own! I would get SO annoyed!!! He would never plan anything and would be so content just sitting around doing nothing if we didnt have anything planned!! I talked to him about it a million times and nothing ever changed. Its not like he is 100% changed now, but he has definitely improved! He actually made plans for Valentines Day and surprised me where we were going (he is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets so this was a big step!) and in the past few months it will be a random Tuesday and he knows Im bored so he says lets go see a movie or go get a drink. Last night after finding out I got a new job he brought home sunflowers and champagne – Im telling you the man is different!!! Just be patient and try to have CALM conversations (not arguments) about this!!! Guys just dont understand what us women need and that they actually need to DO things from time to time!!!

Post # 6
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Well, just so you feel better, my hubby isn’t really the romantic type either, and doesn’t really jump to plan things. On our recent vacation to CA, I was the more active hand in the planning. Of course, he did discuss certain things with me like financially, and what room we wanted, etc, but the actual activities he let me pick.

It took me a long time when we were dating to get used to it whenever I would ask him “So what do you want to eat?” and he’d say “I don’t care.” or “Anything sounds good.” WHAT?! Are you joking?! How can you ALWAYS have no opinion? LOL. Or on the evenings “What do you want to do tonight?” “Oh, I don’t know. Anything’s good as long as I’m with you” Where should we eat? “Anywhere is fine, baby, I don’t really have a preference.” AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!

You know how I finally started combating it? I left it totally up to him. Now, if he pulls that, sometimes I’ll be like “Ok” and I’ll pick the place/activity, but HALF of the time (yes, he still does it even now that we’re married) I’ll be like “OK, well, until you pick we’re not eating.” LOL.


Post # 7
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My fiance doesnt really plan much either, he is super busy with work and is always so tired and really he just doesnt have the time. I try to be understanding but it is of course, very upsetting at times when I just want to be taken out spur of the moment and surprised with something, but thats just not his style, he shows his love in other ways…

Post # 8
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

OMG this post is so funny. My fiance never plans anything. It used to (and sometimes still does) frustrate me to no end.  I would purposely not plan anything to see if he would take the initiative and plan something, which wouldn’t happen, so we would wind up doing nothing on our days off, which would frustrate me more!  It would be one thing if he was content on sitting on the couch, but he actually likes going out.  When we do nothing, he asks me why we’re not doing anything!!

@okqueenbee Yeah seriously, how can someone never have an opinion?!?! lol

Anyways I’ve just learned to accept that I’m the planner and organizer in the relationship.  Nothing is ever perfect.




Post # 9
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I can totally relate! My boyfriend is not a planner at all – thats left up to me. for the most part its good, I love to organise and all that, But he never says what he wants for simple things like dinner even!

But that said, every now and then he surprises me. Like for my birthday, he always pretends like he hasnt planned on where he will take me for dinner and asks me what I feel like! then i start to get mad because its my birthday and why havent you made any effort! THen he says “Oh I have an idea on where we can go” so he takes me somewhere and hes made a booking!

Valentines Day I got the biggest shock – we dont do much (usually I cook dinner, he tells me how wonderful it was and we say some lovey stuff) but this year he was kind of stressed on the whole thing. It turns out he was planning to take me to a festival that was happening here to see a singer he knew I liked. But he was stressed on the rain. The whole way there he wouldnt tell me where we were going! It was such a cute surprise – and something that only cost us the cost of petrol to get there. So I let him know how fantastic the surprise was and he is free to do things like that ANY time!

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