Boyfriend not ready to be engaged – and doesn't want a timeline

posted 4 weeks ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

mrsziggy :   It could take your boyfriend awhile to find employment in his field, and I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to keep you hanging on for that long.

 

This, but also, for me in the OP’s shoes, it wouldn’t just be about me waiting- we’d both be waiting to get married, and I’d be bummed he didn’t feel the same as I did about waiting indefinitely. I personally (and I realize this world is full of people who aren’t me) would want my boyfriend to be as excited and impatient to marry me as I was to marry him. Being willing to delay engagement/marriage for years (since the original agreed upon timeline of 14 months away is evidently still too soon), with an ambiguous end goal, would be upsetting to me.

 

So, I think I would not be okay with this indefinite delay in moving forward. But maybe the OP is.

Post # 47
Member
4454 posts
Honey bee

I feel like a fair question to ask him would be  “how can I know you’re not going to move the goal post once you reach that goal?” A wedding doesn’t have to cost more than the fee to go to the courthouse. 

Post # 48
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

cherry3b :  I’m still laughing at what an ass I am ๐Ÿ˜‚ “I don’t wave my degrees about” (which remark IS waving/ overestimating degrees – they’d paper a closet. Partially. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚) 

here are some helpful photos that illustrate the ridiculousness:

 

 

And now back to your regularly scheduled thread ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ

Post # 49
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

sweatergal007 :  agreed. If he agrees that your dream ring matters, hopefully he’ll agree that your time matters, too. 

Post # 50
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Tatum :  This is a good point. Your partner should also be excited to marry you and would hopefully want to do it as soon as possible. Being ok with delaying it indefinitely would make it look like they’re not excited and my feelings would be hurt in that situation. 

I know for me, my fiance purchased my ring before he found a full-time job in his field and was still working a couple part-time jobs. My ring is pretty, but not the most impressive ring anyone’s ever seen, and it only cost “a few hundred dollars.” (He won’t tell me exactly how much he paid for it.) But I love it so much because of the sentiment behind it. He purchased it at a time that he didn’t have a lot of money, but he was so sure about wanting to be with me that he didn’t let his finances stop him. He had found a ring he liked and didn’t want to wait any longer to purchase it, so he made it a priority to scrape together the money for it. (Luckily, he found a good-paying job between the time he bought the ring and the time he proposed a few months later.) I wouldn’t recommend that everyone do it that way, but my point is that everyone deserves to have someone who is that excited to marry them and can’t wait to move forward. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors