(Closed) Boyfriend of 2 years is moving away?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

What a difficult situation. You must be feeling very uncertain at the moment.

I think that you need to talk to your partner about this. It will be hard, but if you’ve been together 2 years, this is obviously a long-term relationship and it’s reasonable that you will want to discuss this. It may well be that you do end up being long-distance for a while longer, but I think that it would be helpful if you made some kind of plan (even if that was ‘we both want to be together eventually’ as a goal). That might make you feel more secure. Good luck x 

Post # 4
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@sarabee:  I think you need to have a serious conversation with him about the future, where you fit in, etc. Understandable why he wouldn’t ask you to come, but he doesn’t sound as serious about you as you are about him.

I would see how it plays out, and ask him about what his priorities are. It sounds like he’s a bit lost and not necessarily very ambitious… I’d think carefully as to whether you want to be with a guy like this.

I’ve been dating my SO for 2 years and we’ve always discussed the future, kids, marriage… we live together and have similar goals and plan together finacially (still separate accounts but we pretty much combine incomes for all intents and purposes). He wouldn’t just move away out of the blue.

I’m just going on what you posted so obviously I don’t know the details… but if you’re worried he’s going to meet someone else and forget about you, things probably aren’t that serious between you two.

Post # 5
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sarabee:  I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you!  I think if my Boyfriend or Best Friend of 2 years moved away like that, I’d really have to question where we are headed.  There has not been any talk of what things will be like?  Will you still be BF/GF after this move?  Does even talk about a LDR? Or does he think this is just the end of you two?

After dating 2 years, we were able to come up with a time line of engagement, wedding, life, etc.

Post # 6
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is he Guard or something? I guess I am confused how he’s in the military but can’t find a job? If he is guard doesn’t he have to come back your way at least twice a month for duty?  It sounds like there is some opportunity to see him?

Post # 9
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I know how you feel!

Me and my Boyfriend or Best Friend started out in a LDR, then he moved here. But he went back up there and due to finances, he hasn’t been able to come back. It’s been almost 7 months since we’ve been in person. It’s super hard but it CAN work. In July we’ll have been together 3 years.

Post # 10
Member
7450 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I don’t see how a man who was taking your relationship seriously could up and leave after 2 years without any discussion of your future as a couple. I think that’s a very bad sign.

Post # 11
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

OP, I assume – unlike a lot of other Bees who are written – that you have spoken about this and are planning on staying together and making the long distance thing work for as long as you need to, yes?

It’s simply your insecurities talking when you say: “I’m just afraid he is going to meet someone down there and then forget about me :(” – which is completely silly because if he is moving so that he can get his act together and have kids with you I highly doubt that he’s even going to notice any other girl. 

OR have you not spoken about how you plan to proceed with the relationship once he leaves?

I think this needs to be cleared up. 

Post # 12
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“I don’t see how a man who was taking your relationship seriously could up and leave after 2 years without any discussion of your future as a couple. I think that’s a very bad sign.”

 

Ditto!

 

You have the right to talk about where it’s going.  If it’s going to “slow down” now, I wouldn’t take that as a good sign either.

Post # 15
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sarabee:  I’m so sorry that things didn’t work out. However, after taking some time to reflect, you will definitely find someone who is more on your page about things and who is more sure about his feelings/intentions with you. Just be really good to yourself for the time being.

::Hugs::

Post # 16
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@sarabee:  I’m sorry to hear that, but I agree with you that it’s for the best.

 

Here’s hoping things are better the next time we hear from you.

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