joanne1992 : Oh Bee. I’m sorry your prince turned into a toad.
Reading you story, what jumped out at me was this:
He “couldn’t move to London because of his daughter and his rugby job”.
I’m going to stop you there. He COULD move to London. He chose not to. You were not (and you are not) his priority.
It’s pretty clear his priorities are himself, his daughter, his career/hobby?, and you are a distant 4th or 5th.
You gave up your family, your friends, your entire support network, a promising career, you gave ALL of that up for him.
What has he given up for you?
Throughout this entire relationship you have prioritized his needs and his child’s needs.
When has he prioritized you?
He’s selfish. He knew from the early days that marriage was important to you. He declined to tell you this wasn’t what he wanted. Because he knew you would dump him.
He was content to USE you, as a companion, a lover, unpaid nanny, because it was CONVIENENT for him.
And now that you are finally advocating for yourself, he is being emotionally manipulative.
It’s so incredibly painful to realize the person we love doesn’t love us the same way that we love them. I am sorry he has done this to you.
I hope you break up. Block him. Don’t try to stay “friends”. Focus on you for once.
He is not “the one”. That’s a concept lots of women use to justify staying in bad relationships. A lot of men could be “the one” for you.
There are many men out there who will love you passionately, who want what you want (marriage and children), men who pay their bills and are independent and responsible. Who are decent at communicating and do their share of the housework. Who share your values (whatever they are). Who live in London.
I hope you work on yourself and go find one of those men.
Sending you good thoughts and vibes of happiness and self care.