KittyYogi : I have to totally agree, here, even though I already commented. Something I myself and others need to remember, as well! We shouldn’t have to drag our signifigant others through stages of life. Once you have marriage nailed, what about kids? Will you have to drag him through that, too? Buying a house? Career options, promotions, decisions, relocating? Other finance things?
I have to include myself in overlooking these things. I was so gung ho about just having my ex propose I didn’t even think about the fact that I may haveto drag him through the other stages of life, too. Admittedly, I’m still not “there” yet on accepting everything, but this is food for thought for sure. Even though I know I don’t want kids for a while, and aren’t concerned about buying a house ASAP, either, when I AM ready for those things, will he be? Or will it be another battle everytime it’s time to do something new and progressive in life?
All that being said, everything works out differently. You’ll hear of people getting married, happily, in all sorts of different ways. People take different paths to get there, sometimes. Sometimes men need time to grow up or reexamine their lives. Sometimes we (and they) realize they are just happy not being married to ANYONE, EVER. But that obviously entails losing the woman they love if they won’t marry her and that’s what she wants. We may never understand how they are okay with this. There’s no telling if you’ll end up married to this man now, later, after a break up, 2 years from now, or someone else entirely.
I think what matters is that we respect ourselves and take care of ourselves…that we leave and do better for ourselves if we’re not getting what we deserve. “they say” once you do that everything falls into place….be it with a new man oneday, or the same man. I think we have to not bank on that one man coming around, though. If he’s going to, he’s going to. If not, someone else will. Putting ourselves first is #1 and then things work out.
I admittedly am still in this proccess, but we have to keep trying.