Post # 16
Maybe I’m just jaded from the multiple posts like this from other bees, but I’m skeptical about this. We had a lot of bees just this December who talked about their SOs giving them the “it’ll be this year (2018)!” line who weren’t seeing any signs of a proposal happening by 12/31. We’ve definitely seen this with bees who have been in long relationships, such as yourself, that they finally believe they’ve nailed down a timeline with the “within this year” line, when it actuality, it’s a stall tactic to buy more time.
Agreed with PPs. “Soon” isn’t a real answer and it’s not a timeline. I would even venture as far as to say “this year” isn’t acceptable after being together 7.5 years. You’re hoping it’s within the next six months, but I’d have a frank conversation with him to confirm that, at the very least.
Post # 17
To answer your question, my fiance told me last July 4th he was tired of dating, and wanted to be married. We had been together 5 years. In November I showed him the ring I liked, and he proposed 12/15 (it wasn’t a special date; he just wanted to propose before he left town).
My fiancé is fiancially comfortable, but even if he weren’t, it wouldn’t have been an issue. He would have still proposed, and we would have figured things out, one expense at a time.
Other than the cost of the ring (if you need one right away), an engagement doesn’t have to cost anything. You can be engaged until he gives you the green light that he is financially where he wants to be to start planning a wedding, finding a home, starting a family, etc. I’m often skeptical when the SO cites money as a reason for not asking. If he doesn’t want you to be “the one who got away”, he would propose with a pretty $20 zirconia from Amazon, and I bet you’d be perfectly happy with it until he could afford your real ER.
Post # 18
Hey guys, update. He does have a date in mind and it will be before September. He then asked me for my ring size and wants to go look at rings. 🙂 he’s also ready for kids but we are waiting until I graduate this year, get married and travel to one more big vacation lol
Post # 19
Well great, l am pleased for you OP. I would want far more co deciding and far less him deciding myself, but that ‘s here nor there l realise.
Just be careful with gratitude and passivity tho, it’s not necessary. He is as lucky to get you as vice versa. And as for children, make damn sure he’s not the only voice as to when.
Post # 20
I could have written this myself last summer, without the update of course. Same age, same amount of time together and living together. We talked about it being before summer’s end 2018 and towards August I was getting angry! I was afraid I would only remember the anxious waiting and frustration and that he was ruining what was supposed to be so exciting for us both, and that marriage is not supposed to be a unilateral decision that I just have to let him make. One friend even asked if I would walk if it didn’t happen soon, but then she told me as soon as he did propose I’d forget all those feelings and just be so happy. Well, she was right, and it turned out he was waiting for a big trip with my family so we could celebrate with them and not have to call them on the phone. Really, the important thing to me all along was that we get married in 2019 (which he knew) for various reasons, so it all worked out. I hope it works out for you too!
Post # 21
@elderbee opposite with kids. He would like them now but I’m not ready but he’s ok with waiting.
Post # 22
m197500 : I’m sure a lot of us have the same story lol!