(Closed) Boyfriend offered to set up an "engagement ring fund" to motivate me. Thoughts?

posted 9 months ago in Beehive
  • poll: Engagement ring fund?
    Do it! : (13 votes)
    20 %
    No thanks : (49 votes)
    75 %
    Comments to follow : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 33
    Member
    6782 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    As a side note, you mentioned that you’d LIKE to be a morning person. I am not a morning person. I’m usually pretty bitchy, but damn in the AM, stay away! However, I started waking up a half hour early and doing a mile on the treadmill. I had to skip a few days this month (dropping my car at the mechanic ridiculously early and a random monday I felt like garbage), but really, your body adjusts. For me, I’d rather lay in bed awake in the dark than get out of bed and do something lol. But just getting up and getting that done feels so good! 

    Do you already have a gym membership? If so, use it! Take a look at their classes. As someone else said – pack your bag the night before. Some people sleep in their gym clothes so when they roll out of bed they just need shoes LOL. I know for myself, its about consistency. If I start doing it, I can keep doing it. If I stop for a while, it’s soo hard to get back into it. If you don’t have a gym membership, even a walk around the neighbourhood is better than nothing. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    2767 posts
    Sugar bee

    So if it doesn’t work, you don’t get engaged ever?  Or you just don’t get the ring?

    Post # 35
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee

    Isn’t a credit card a way to buy something…on credit? So who is buying? And what are they buying? Is there an actual card? I am so confused and really need an entire explanation for the credit card, please and thank you.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

    Like a reward card? It doesn’t make you a ‘pervert’ just something I’ve never heard of before. Interesting reward though!

    Post # 38
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have no idea why liking oral sex would make any of us perverts. You are the only one who said that.

    Post # 39
    Member
    5698 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    So if that didn’t work and you are a “pervert” why would an engagement ring fund work if you are the one who doesn’t want to and isn’t ready to get engaged? None of this makes sense! 

    Post # 40
    Member
    9926 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    If you think it will work then give it a shot. Nothing to lose!

    Post # 42
    Member
    3522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    If you find that when the end of the day comes, you just want to get home rather than go to the gym, then perhaps you should bring the gym home.

    You don’t have to buy an expensive membership and force yourself to go to another location between your work and your home in order to work out. 

    When I lived and worked downtown, I used to go to the gym after work almost every day because it was on my way home and it was easy. Once I moved out to the burbs, it was no longer convenient to hit the gym and I stopped going. Instead, I started building up a home gym in the basement.

    We have a treadmill, some freeweights, a yoga mat and some medicine balls in our basement with a small TV. When I am in a working out phase I will come home from work, have a light snack like a banana or something, and work out for an hour before starting dinner while watching some shitty show that my fiance doesn’t want to watch with me. It’s much easier to get into and stay in that routine than it is to put the added effort into going to a public gym (packing a gym bag, remembering to bring it to work, remembering to wash your stuff and repack your bag, actually going to the gym instead of just straight home, etc). 

    I was reading an interesting article not too long ago about how the whole concept of “willpower” is horseshit. People who seem to have more willpower are actually just better at removing or avoiding the barriers that keep people from doing the good things they should be doing, or they simply face fewer barriers or temptations in general. It’s worth a read:

    https://getpocket.com/explore/item/why-willpower-is-overrated

    Figure out what is *really* stopping you and figure out which barriers you can remove, which ones you can modify, and what other ways you can turn the “right” choice into the easy one.

    Post # 45
    Member
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee

    It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to get engaged for a multitude of reasons, so I don’t see why a ring fund would work as motivation. As someone who has been super overweight, skinny, and everything in between, the only way to truly motivate is to be happy with yourself and to care enough about yourself to just friggen do it. External motivators rarely work long term.

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