Post # 1
I "officially" got engaged on July 4th, even though we have been "unofficially" planning our wedding for some months. Well, I am having a hard time actually thinking of introducing my love as my "fiance." I know it sounds weird, but we have been together for 4 years and I am just so comfortable saying he is my "boyfriend." What do you think? Do I have to call him my fiance? Is it faux pas not to?
Oh, and just in case anyone thinks it, I don’t have any hesitations about the wedding or marrying him b/c he is definitely the one for me. I think he is having a hard time too b/c he asked if I had ever referred to him as my fiance and when I said no, we both agreed that it feels odd. Maybe we are just silly. We even joked that it might be cute if we called each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" even after being married for many years.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2018 - Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception
Oops, I think you meant to write "Boyfriend OR fiance" not "Boyfriend of fiance." I think it’s okay to not like the term "fiance." I’ve heard other people say that too, that it feels like a goofy word to them. I think there may have even been a Seinfeld episode about it.
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s wrong for you to call him boyfriend, except some people might get confused. I never called my husband or boyfriend or fiance anything…I call him Howard. 🙂
Post # 6
Totally okay – my sister was dating her beloved for 4 years before they got engaged, and it took her a while to get comfortable saying that. If you’ve defined your love always as your boyfriend, it could feel weird to define them as something else – changes that comfort zone (just in words, not feelings). Whatever works for you is acceptable and great, in my opinion.
Post # 7
We dated for four years before getting engaged. Just as I was getting used to calling him my fiance (I had a year to get accustomed), he’s now my husband… Luckily this is the last change in status (I hope) we’ll make.
I think you’re talking about how you refer to him when you’re talking to others, right? You can refer to him however you like – but just think of using the term ‘fiance’ as a way of letting others know that you’re engaged. You may be uncomfortable with the term, but to everyone else it’s perfectly natural.
Post # 8
it took me a few months to get used to saying "fiance." sometimes we would both forget, and introduce/refer to the other as "my boyfriend/girlfriend." the transition to husband also takes a bit too – we got married two months ago and "husband" finally feels natural to me. i liked saying it right away, but i’d get that "ooo! wow! weird!" feeling afterwards, lol. now it’s finally normal.
i think it’s fine if you don’t call him your fiance. however i’ll bet that after a few months fiance will feel normal and boyfriend will seem odd. 🙂
Post # 9
Ha, you’re going to think this is weird, but my "boyfriend/fiance" and I have been calling each other "wife" and "husband" for months! And we aren’t getting married until next year! Not in public so much, but around our families. Why? Because it’s fun! I think of him as my husband (we’ve been dating six years!) and it seems appropriate (though I would never do it if it would make our actual marriage seem less monumental). I think it will be totally easy to transition once we’re officially wed ;o)
But basically, its all personal preference! I find "fiance" so formal, but it does let people know where you stand. In public or to strangers I tend to alternate between "boyfriend" and "fiance", whichever slips out :o)
Post # 11
I thought Fiance was a funny word too. More because I felt like when I said ‘fiance’ it was a big announcement. Yeah in the first week it’s kinda an announcement – but 2 months later not so much. People would always then start asking about wedding stuff – and I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to ask all those questions. Does that makes sense?
Anyways I never really got used to it either. Actually I was much more comfortable with ‘husband’ and starting using that prematurely – oops! I guess it helped we only had a 4 month engagement… I didn’t have to think about the word ‘fiance’ for too long 🙂
Post # 12
I am trying to use it because I think it is important to mark this time with a special designation (for me).
Both of us have been struggling with it, because we’re so used to habitually saying boyfriend/girlfriend. The funny thing is, just before we got engaged, I was getting to the point where I thought boyfriend didn’t really capture our relationship status any more. Now I realize it is a hard habit to break… but I’m enjoying doing it, and I love love love being engaged 😀
Post # 13
honestly I had been waiting for two to get engaged. OMG!!! I have the same probelm. My Fiance/Boyfriend have been dating for 6 years and I have the hardest time saying fiance. When I introduce him its fiance when its people we have known for awhile the boyfriend word keeps slipping out.
IDK I love him and thats all that matters the important title is Husband and Wife who cares about the inbetween.
Post # 14
It’s definitely an adjustment. My honey and I had been together 5 years when we got engaged. Just before we were engaged, we had been talking about how boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t seem like the right term after 5 years together. It was still a huge adjustment for both of us to start using "fiance", because it meant changing our habits. It’s no reflection on your feelings for each other, and there aren’t any rules about it. Call your honey what you are most comfortable calling him!
Post # 15
It’s so nice to know that my "fiance" and I aren’t the only ones that refer to each other as husband and wife before we’re officially married. We marry in October 2008, and have only been together since January 2007, but we’ve been calling each other husband and wife (in public, mostly) since about month six (before we were officially engaged) because it felt so right.
Congratulations and remember, it’s only a title! Do what feels good to you!
Post # 16
It took me awhile to start saying "finace" instead of boyfriend, and we only dated for a year and a half! Whenever I would say boyfriend, my fh would correct me and pretend like he was insulted, and point at my ring finger. I ended up finally getting used to it because people would remind me that we were now engaged or they would ask about the ring.
Congrats on your engagement — it is a wonderful time!