Boyfriend owes a lot of money and I pay for everything…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

What you allow is what will continue. 

I would run as fast as I could out of this relationship otherwise get ready for your entire life to be this way. 

Post # 3
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

He is using you. Its easy to see. Sorry bee.

Post # 4
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t necessarily think he’s talking advantage; I think he’s horrible with money. And so unless you are willing and able to both support him and keep him from possessing credit cards then you should leave. 

Post # 5
Member
3786 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Girl, he’s using you. Stop paying for stuff and for the love of god, stop lending this guy money! I’ve been with my SO for over a year and not once has he asked me for money… Wait, once he asked if i could lend him $20 when the ATM was broken but he made sure to pay me back the next day. What about this guy is appealing to you? He sounds like a manipulative manchild to me. I’m not sure what kind of banking system you use, but eTransfers dont just bounce back into the senders account… 

Post # 6
Member
3289 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It seems like you are being taken advantage of.

If I owe someone a nickel I’m basically hunting them down because don’t like to owe anyone anything. 

Post # 7
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Money isn’t ruining your relationship — his approach to money is.

Post # 8
Member
570 posts
Busy bee

Money ruins relationships and it looks like it’s already inserting a wedge in this one, stop letting him take advantage of you, immediately. And see what type of relationship ya’ll have, then.

 

Post # 9
Member
599 posts
Busy bee

You need boundaries. Tell him you can’t lend him any more money, say you’re all tapped out. Then see what he does. Also, maybe talk to him about why he’s always short on cash. See what he says. 

Post # 10
Member
9286 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ok no. No. No no no. Just no. Unless you wanna be played for a fool, stop giving him money or stop dating him.

Post # 11
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

1. Constantly asks to borrow money

2. Doesn’t pay you back

3. Lied to extort money from you (card situation)

4. Makes more than you, buy you always pay for stuff

5. Questionable money management practices

He’s using you. He doesn’t love you, he doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t respect you. He’s using you as an ATM.

You can do much better with almost anyone else. You’d even be better off – financially, at least – on your own.

Post # 12
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee

Take care of yourself. Spend your money on yourself. Moving forward, never loan any friends or family members money you want back. Also, stop buying this leech food. If you go out to eat and he can’t pay for his share then he shouldn’t be eating out. I think you should dump him because he stole from you and is using you but most bees don’t take my advice. 

If you stay with him, make it clear you can’t give him any more money or pay for his meals. Go on free dates with him so he can’t leave you with the bill. Otherwise, when you break up you’ll regret every single penny you spent on him. 

Post # 13
Member
9809 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Nope to that! It takes more than love to make a relationship, and especially a marriage, work. Finances are one of the top reasons for divorce.

Being bad with money is a dealbreaker for me. I don’t need my partner to be a financial mastermind but I do need someone who knows how to manage thier money so they pay for all the necessities and thier bills and still be able to build thier savings for a house, retirement, emergencies, and fun stuff. Being with someone who is constantly broke would make me constantly stressed.

Its not that hard to manage money. It’s really not and there’s about a million different resources out there he could be using to get his shit together instead of using you.

Post # 14
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

He works full time and you’re a student. He’s using you but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for people for putting themselves in bad situations that they allow to happen. Stop letting him take advantage of you…its a pattern.

Post # 15
Member
6925 posts
Busy Beekeeper

“I can see us being together for a long time”

Do you want to be his sugar momma for “a long time”? cause that is where this headed. He is practically stealing from you by pretending to pay you back and just not. TBH Id probably leave, but at the very least STOP PAYING FOR THINGS. STOP GIVING HIM MONEY. If he cant afford to do something, you guys do something free. 

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