Boyfriend owes a lot of money and I pay for everything…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee

You’re never getting that money or any other money you spend back. 

Post # 32
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

“…everytime he says he has transferred me money to pay me some back, it never comes through. When I tell him he just says “oh, it bounced back into my account. I’ll sort it out later.” And never does”

Every time? How many times are you going to believe the same old bullshit? Stop being so incredibly naive or con artists like this will rob you blind and break your heart over and over again. He’s not simply ‘bad with money’ – HE IS A FUCKING CON ARTIST. Dump his ass yesterday. 

Post # 33
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

What is he borrowing money for? And does he somehow always have money for “fun” things he wants?

Post # 34
Member
10976 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

eve2018 :  

You SOMETIMES feel taken advantage of?

Bee, he is 100% taking advantage of you.  Not only is he taking financial advantage of you, he’s a liar.

What makes any of this ok for you?

Post # 35
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

eve2018 :  .” I’m a student and he works full time”

 

Then why do you  pay for him? Tell him you can’t afford it (I’m surprised you can).

Post # 36
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

eve2018 :   You certainly are a very giving person, and men like him figure that out right quick.   He is using you, plain and simple.   

Enabling his dishonesty isn’t doing either of you any good.  Start doing free things, and stop supporting him.   

Post # 37
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

Drop this guy.  I was married to someone who couldn’t handle money.  It’s very stressful on a relationship.  Marry the guy that can take care of himself.  Don’t carry someone.  Good luck!

Post # 38
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

The money will never come. I paid for everything for my ex and when we broke up he owed me 5K. I got $500 back, he got a new girlfriend and he blocked me on everything. He even changed his number. 

I would leave now and move on. 

Post # 39
Member
10034 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

By the way, if you want to give money to someone who doesn’t care about you, you’re more than welcome to send me money. I’ll even send you my picture to tack on your fridge and monthly updates about what your money bought, just like those poor children on the commercials.

Also, basically right now you have a male hooker. You pay him to be your boyfriend.

Post # 40
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

slomotion :  😂😂😂 “just like those poor children on the commercials”

Post # 41
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

eve2018 :  You are being taken advantage of.  He’s not oblivious with his situation.  He knows what he’s doing and he’s playing dumb for as long as he can away with it.

He may love you… but let’s be honest – he loves himself more and will put himself before you.  The question is – how long are you going be okay with that?

And as unromantic as it is – how money is used is a very important aspect and discussion in marriage.  It’s what can break relationships.  So if you want to stay with your bf forever you need to talk to him about money.

Post # 42
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

– He claims he is transferring you money but it magically never works
– He appears to have lied about losing his card

This is highly concerning and there are more issues here than him being thoughtless. And even if his excuses really are true, he still would have been stunningly inconsiderate on a level which would be reasonable grounds for a break up. But sad to say it sounds deliberate. 

You are allowing it, though! Next time (unless you drop him first) say ‘sorry, I really can’t afford it.’ When he promises to pay you back, do not budge. DO NOT BUDGE. Then you’ll really see what kind of person he is. 

Post # 43
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

How do you love someone who is taking advantage of you?  He says all the right things then asks you to pick up the check?  Do you know how many men there are out there??

Post # 44
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

Sorry Bee…guy sounds like a total twat! Time to move on. Good luck.

Post # 45
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Run,  this guy is using you to bleed you dry of money.    I bet he had nothing until you came along.  

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