Boyfriend owes a lot of money and I pay for everything…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017


He is obviously a liar, immature person. 7 months is not a long time. My ex bf didn’t start taking my money until about a year into our relationship. Then he quit his job right when we moved in together. He got fired in a month from the next place. I paid and paid for everything and he still owes me over a $1000. I worked, bought what we needed, paid the bills, did chores around the house while he played his xbox. And no, this is not a 17 year old boy we are talking about.

The last straw was when his mom came over to my house to yell at me for “harassing” her little boy to pay me back. Because “apparently all I care about is money” and ” now they see what kind of a person I am”. He was kicked out that night, but I needed a wake up call like that.

And even since, when I moved out of that house that we started renting together (he lived there for 4 months, I did for 2 years) he tried to get half of the deposit back. I had to hire an attorney to make sure nothing goes to him. I am so disgusted about the whole situation as I’m typing this, I wish I broke up with him sooner.

Post # 47
707 posts
Busy bee

Have you ever heard of a show called “Judge Judy”? If not, watch it. 

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship with this loser is as long as your money roll. 

Post # 48
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

A man will never ever borrow money from a girl and not pay her back unless he doesn’t respect her. Pose your question/post to ANY male friend. Believe what they tell you

Post # 49
1609 posts
Bumble bee

eve2018 :  Wow, this guy is a jerk for taking this kind of money off you when your a student, even worse that he works full time!

To me, if I’m honest it sounds like he’s using you. I live in the U.K. And owing any person £1k is a huge amount of money. Let alone a student! And to top it off he lies about paying you back and asks you to pay for more! You need to stop paying for things and if he asks for money you say ‘I can’t afford that right now’. Don’t add to the amount he leeady owes you. 

I don’t see how you can have a future with him, can you imagine a life where you pay for the both of you on everything? Finding out things haven’t been paid because he lied and/or couldn’t be bothered to sort them out? Him lying, which could turn into something bigger. If he lies about that then he could lie about a lot of things. 

Post # 50
621 posts
Busy bee

You guys need to nip this in the butt ASAP before it takes on a life of its own. 

I have a couple of ‘friends’ and the female is hopless with money. She always has been and her partner is always open and complains about it yet he is always handing her out money. None of us see them lasting forever like this. It really is taking its toll on him and brings him down.

He needs to sort out his spending habbits and you need to stop lending him money. If he cannot control himself I really believe you shouldnt stay with him.

Post # 51
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So he lied to you many times and took your money without hesitation? Eh? Really??

Post # 52
1279 posts
Bumble bee

the money you loaned him is gone. you’re never getting it back. consider it an expensive lesson learned.

if you dont want to break up with him…just stop loaning him money and paying for dinner. i bet he falls out of love real quick. 

Post # 53
211 posts
Helper bee

After college, my brother struggled with employment and his girlfriend paid all the bills. This caused a lot of resentment after about 12 months, and one day he was out on his ass and she had issued him a repayment plan. Her dad was a lawyer and he’s drawn up schedule for my brother to agree to, to repay her. This is an example of someone being genuinely unfortunate, and also terrible with money and paying the consequences. He spent the next three miserable years living with our mother and making payments to his ex.

Your man doesn’t have any excuse to be borrowing money from you. He has a job. He is mismanaging his finances. Furthermore, he is borrowing and STEALING your money, with no remorse at all. He doesn’t respect you. You’re 7 months in and he’s using you, this will never improve.

dump him

Post # 54
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Print out a copy of your post and go see a therapist by yourself. Clearly he  is a no good user, but more importantly in the long run, you need to work on you. So much of what you wrote indicates you are too giving and unable to stand up for yourself. If you don’t fix you, more jerks will be in your future. People who like to take look for people who like to give.

Post # 55
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

You feel like you’re being taken advantage of because you are. 

Leave him. This is not a partner you should be looking to spend the long term or even short term with. Learn from the experience and set some boundaries for yourself.

Post # 56
428 posts
Helper bee

Run bee, or you will have nothing and lose everything for someone who will be on to the next as soon as he sucks you dry. 

Post # 57
133 posts
Blushing bee

Uhh… why is this even a post? This situation should never have gotten this far

Post # 58
13705 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He’s using you for money.  Run.

Post # 59
10976 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

slomotion :  

Just brilliant.

Post # 60
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Put your foot down and stop giving him money and paying for everything. If he loves you he will stick around and sort his own shit out. If he bails, he was using you.

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