Boyfriend owes a lot of money and I pay for everything…

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

eve2018 :  if youre looking for a husband DUMP HIM. If youre looking for a man-sugar-baby-boyfriend, keep him.

Post # 62
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Take this as a learning lesson and dip out. This behavior wont change

Post # 63
Member
2967 posts
Sugar bee

He is using you. This is not normal. You know this.

Those who love you won’t take advantage of you or repeatedly lie to you. Don’t give him any more money.

Text him to ask exactly when he plans paying you.back. Name the sum and the occasions that you have lent the money. Make it clear that each time it was a loan. Get him to text you an exact payback date. His reply may well give you evidence should you wish to pursue him through the courts at a later date.

Post # 64
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Rescuing someone who continues to make poor choices is not called love. It’s called enabling. Stop enabling, and refuse to be a safety net, so he can grow up!!

Post # 67
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Just read Collegebee’s post over and over. It’s worded perfectly. I’m sorry OP, but the boy’s gotta go! Good luck.

Post # 69
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

The biggest problem here is not the money but the manipulation. If he were lying about his own finances, I would tell you to break this off. That’s a huge sign of immaturity and likely to cause problems in a marriage down the road. But he’s lying to get you to give him money which is worse. Try to get your money back but most likely that’s gone forever and then drop him.

Issues with money hardly ever work out well. My best friend’s husband was terrible with money when they were dating – his car got repossessed twice and he would buy expensive toys (gaming software, computers, guns) and pretend he won them or got the money somewhere. For them it worked out but only because she took 100% control of the finances when they got married. She monitors all his spending and works out budgets for him. BUT he never manipulated her for money and that’s the big difference.

Post # 70
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

eve2018 :  I was in a relationship like this before I started dating my finance. The person will never change, and you cannot change them, you need to have a serious conversation now to address this, or it will just get worse. 

Also, keep your accounts separate, you always need you money, even in the most open and trusting relationships. 

Post # 71
Member
997 posts
Busy bee

I cannot believe how often this happens to people, it blows my mind…

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