(Closed) Boyfriend planning to marry but don't want to propose

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you need to ask yourself why it’s so important to you. Is it important because you want to have a good proposal story? Or is there another reason? If you both want to be married and you know it, i see no reason why he should still have to ask but that’s just my opinion! Many other bees have demanded or are demanding a formal proposal. 


Post # 4
2310 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re not asking too much at all. 

I think it’s important that the question “Will you marry me?”, or another satisfactory version, is asked or posed. 

If I was you, I wouldn’t marry him until that question was asked or he finds another way to propose. It doesn’t need to be elaborate either. If he never plans on asking me that question, I would just leave him.

There are much harder things in marriage than this simple question. If he can’t bring himself to ask you this, or find another satisfactory way to propose, what else can’t he bring himself to do? 

Post # 6
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Is it common among his friends/family to ask a woman to marry you? If so I’d ask him why he has a problem with this and explain why it’s important to you.

Post # 7
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

What does he think a proposal has to be? What do you think a proposal has to be? Are you happy with a simple, straight forward proposal, or do you expect something huge to be made of the occasion? Maybe he thinks that it has to be this extravagant, well planned event when it could just be him dropping down on one knee at home.

Post # 8
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

There’s nothing wrong with proposing or not proposing, it’s up to the couple. There’s no “right” answer here. You need to communicate your feelings and listen to his. Once you figure out why you each feel the way you do you can compromise on something that works for both of you. 

Post # 9
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i feel like if he knows it means that much to you annd he’s just not doing it because he thinks “people will make fun of him”, he needs to get over himself and do it just to make you happy.  it’s not like you’re asking for some kind of grand gesture here.

Post # 10
3247 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If he doesn’t want to ask you to marry him, he is not that into you. Please do not let him string you along with hope for two more years.

Post # 11
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@babeba:  Not necessarily. I think it’s important to determine where the OP and her bf are from. For some cultures a proposal is not a big deal, people just decide they want to be together and they marry. IF her bf already wants to marry her and his only problem is asking her, I don’t see the problem. Does he want to marry you in two years or does he want to become engaged in two years, OP???

Post # 12
3247 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

@cinderella2:  I am saying so because it is a big deal to the OP. no matter what culture you are from, you need to listen to the things that are important to your future life partner and respect them.. Especially when it is two or three words long and takes no effort to ask.

i mean, she isn’t asking for him to rent out a stadium and a marching band, here. Just ask her a question.

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