Boyfriend says we will discuss marriage closer to when we plan to start a family

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 226
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
beetobe27 :  It’s easy to make such remarks anonymously online. I doubt anyone would say it in person. 

Post # 228
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Congratulations! It sounds like he was truly excited to propose and unable to wait for the thoughtfully planned trip.  My husband did the same.  Had a big plan,  but that ring was burning a hole in his pocket lol. It didn’t matter to me as something public and over the top is not me.

It is a shame that some posters here are clearly projecting their own issues onto what is a joyous occasion for you. Maybe they need to look inward to examine why they might feel the need to try and put a damper on someone else’s happy moment.  Or maybe they are just still salty they didn’t receive the ring or proposal they longingly wished for.  

Either way congratulations!!!

Post # 229
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
mel76 : 

So in other words, you can dish it out but can’t take it?

Post # 230
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I read through some of the replies to your initial question and it goes to show how wrong the mentality to believe the worst about men who are making their girlfriends ‘wait’ for an engagement or are not excited about marriage is all wrong. People were telling you to dump him but an honest discussion was in order and it looks like once he understood how much you valued marriage, he agreed to marry you soon. And it’s laughable that there are still some posters who are continuing to find issues with your fiance. On some other waiting threads, members say that all a man needs to do is ask you to marry him and the proposal doesn’t matter. Then here they are whining about the proposal being too simple. You just can’t win.

Post # 231
Hostess
9632 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

 Please keep this thread on topic, and ignore the curmudgeons.

Post # 233
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
beetobe27 : I see what you mean. He might be a good man and I am not disputing that. I’m saying that their values are very different when one person is a strong believer in marriage and the other considers it a piece of paper but goes along for the sake of the partner. 

I wish them well obviously.

Post # 234
Member
686 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
cremecaramel :  congrats! So glad everything worked out for you and love that your proposal was at home. I would prefer a home proposal myself 😊

Post # 235
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Hi

Congratulations.

How did you convince him to get married and how did he finally see the benefits of getting married?

I am having this problem with my boyfriend. He does not believe in marriage like your fiance said he did not. Nothing I say convinces him, so could probably do with a bit of advice.

Post # 236
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
dnm998 :  Bee, your circumstances might be different and it might be more useful for you to make a thread of your own.

Post # 237
Member
37 posts
Newbee

View original reply
beetobe27 :  Hi

Thanks. You are right. I will make my own thread.

Post # 238
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

 

View original reply
dnm998 :  Actually if you read the thread, a few pages back she mentioned that he is getting married despite his views because she wants it and it’s important to her. I don’t think she “convinced him about the benefits of marriage”.

Post # 239
Member
37 posts
Newbee

View original reply
chiara :  Thanks, but I was asking the thread maker if she specifically told him something relating to the reasons for wanting to be married, and what those reasons were. I know she wants marriage (obviously), but I am asking how she reasoned with him. 

Post # 240
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
chiara :  Exactly. It’s not a decision to enter a business contact where you can lay out advantages or disadvantages to convince someone one way or the other. If someone is against marriage, then the only possibility he will agree if at all is if he just wants to do it because it matters to you. If that’s not a good enough reason, then nothing will be.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors