Post # 1
Sorry for my bad English (non-native speaker). My boyfriend and I are together for 1 year and a half. We had a bad start into the relationship due to the naughty side of his part. Basically, before we became official, he still diddn’t finish completely finish with his ex (she went abroad) and he has lots of one night stands with other girls.
Somehow we worked that mess out and become a happy couple. He starts to show more commitment to me over time. He said he’s ‘been there, done that’. Now he just wants to be with me and work hard to build our future together. We also talk about marriage.
By accident I saw his chat messages to a girl at his office. The date was 1 year ago (at that time, we had been together 6 months already). The messages are very flirty: ‘I want to know you more’. ‘Next time I want to dance with you’ and ‘What is your plan for the weekend? Let’s combine yours and mine to do something intersting’. ‘Let’s go out sometimes soon’…
I talked to him about this right away. He said he is sorry and feel embarrassed for what he did. He said he didn’t have any dirty intention than just pure flirtation. And that time he still wasn’t sure about us and about his future, so it’s likely to look for back-up option and keep his option open.
He swears he didn’t do anything more than the messages. I find it hard to believe and it hurt so much.
I don’t know what to do. We are planning to get a house together and stuffs. Now this came into the picture. What I worry is that If I forgive him this time, he will do it again in the future.
Anyone has experience about this, please help. I much appreciate.
Post # 3
@Broma: I think you are just rocking the boat 🙁
There can be no relationship without trust and I think you need to believe him…It was a year ago and he has proven to be a good person and a good man to you!
Post # 4
@Broma: Hmmm…I am not sure why this surprises you since you know he was unfaithful to you at the beginning of your relationship. You said you saw it, he apologized, it’s done…
Post # 5
It sucks to see something like that after all the time you both have put into making your relationship better and build your future together. But you’ve brought it up to him and he apologized (and you knew what kind of person he was in the beginning) and it would be best for you to just let it go. Try to focus on what a good relationship you have now, and not the past.
Post # 6
Thank you all for your opinions.
I tend to think that he seems to always have a reason to do unacceptable things. From the start, it was because we were not officially Girlfriend – Boyfriend or Best Friend. 6 months later, it was because he was not sure about our future.
I don’t know what is the next? Should I mention this to him? Or I’m just thinking too much?
@ luckylady3090: I was upset because these flirty messages sent a few months after he promised to make me trust him again.
Post # 7
@Broma: You just found out he was being untrustworthy four months after convincing you you could trust him. Now you know that you can’t. He may be the type that will do whatever he can get away with it. Odds are you haven’t discovered everything he’s done. Can you really trust this man and marry him? I don’t think yoh can. You shouldn’t settle for him. To me, he blew his second chance. He intended to have sex with her, and maybe he did. you deserve better.