- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2025
Hi bees, going anon here as SO knows my WB username.
Bear with me, this is going to be a combination of a rant and a cry for advice. I may be totally in the wrong here, and really have no right to feel this way, but I thought I would seek advice from the hive as I am getting frustrated.
SO/BF and I have been together for around 4 years, he’s 37 and I’m still in my 20s thankfully. We are not engaged but he brings up getting married in the future, and we have had various discussions about us getting married. He knows what kind of ring I want but says at this point he cannot afford it. Fine. I’ll wait. I’m not in a rush, but I would like to get married and start a family.
The part that frustrates me is that he spends a lot of money on things that I find unnecessary. Maybe it is not my place to care about what he spends his money on (if this is the case, be blunt with me bees), but I feel like if we’re going to have any sort of future together, it would be nice if he was a little more careful about his money, or at least attempted to save some of it to buy me a ring.
I don’t usually keep track, but I decided to keep a record this week (just the past 7 days) of what he spent money on that I consider ‘unnecessary’:
$300: Bought iTunes gift cards to use to buy Poke-coins for the Pokemon Go app for the both of us. Gave me $150 worth of cards. I was frustrated because I don’t like spending money on apps. It was sweet of him to buy for me as well, however I would’ve loved if he’d asked me before buying the cards. I would’ve said no and then BAM: an extra $150 for the ring fund
$175: We went out for dinner with a group of 4 other friends and he paid the tab for the entire table.
$30: Used valet parking twice ($15 each time) when we went to the mall.
$300: Bought me a dress from Guess by Marciano that he’d seen me try on a week prior. I told him it was too expensive and I didnt want to spend that kind of money on a dress. He came home and surprised me with it. Again, VERY SWEET of him — should I be complaining?
$20: Brought me a bouquet of flowers. (Yes I know, I should not complain), but I don’t like cut flowers, they wilt within a couple days and I much prefer potted plants.
$100: Chicken wings for everyone at the office because they needed a ‘pick me up’.
He does these kinds of things on a regular basis, so it adds up. I acknowledge that he’s trying to be sweet and wants to make everyone happy. I’ve talked to him and told him I would rather him save the money for a ring, or for himself than buy me things I don’t want.
This adds up to $925, in just 7 days. -sigh-. Is it bad of me to wish he’d be a little more conservative with money so that I could get my ring already? Or is it possible he’s stalling?
Thanks in advance for your responses and input!