Boyfriend suggested marriage at the courthouse and THEN proposing to me later…

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
3816 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That’s insane. If he asked you to get married, regardless of when and where, you’re engaged. It makes no sense for him to propose marriage…after you’re married. However, I’ve known many couples who get married at the courthouse and then have a larger reception later on. There’s nothing odd about that, but yeah I would not be ok with getting married and not wearing the ring that he already bought. 

Post # 3
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Men are strange…if he wants to get married so quickly then why doesn’t he just up the proposal date? Getting married then having an engagement just seems silly. Nothing wrong with a courthouse wedding then planning a small intimate one with family and friends as a vow renewal 

Post # 4
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
schmeebee85 :  Is it because he wants to get married but the ring needs to be repaired and he doesn’t want to wait for it to be ready? You said he should just give you the ring but you need to send it back. I’m confused.

Post # 8
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

This makes a BIG change from guys trying to avoid getting married!

If he wants to get married that fast he can propose just as fast!

 

Post # 9
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Wow I’ve never seen a guy so excited to get married!  I’m so happy for you bee.  We get a lot of the opposite here so I’m taken aback….in a good way.

He just sounds a little overly excited bee. Just bring him back down to earth a little bit.  That means having another sit down over exactly what he wants and what YOU want and compromising and then working out the logistics.  In other words, tell him to slow his roll…. not to dampen his enthusiasm but to get on a level equilibrium.

Above all marriage is about partnership, trust and compromise.  Keep that in mind okay?  

Post # 10
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee

Wouldn’t it be massively easier for him to propose, get married at the courthouse and have a celebration later. Getting married and then propose is just weird and kind of defeats the purpose. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about rings or not telling anyone about being engaged/married.

Post # 11
Member
12838 posts
Honey Beekeeper

That’s crazy, and makes no sense. You are already engaged if you are planning your wedding. I’d tell him that if he wants to get married now the fancy formal proposal ship has sailed. In any case a proposal can be both simple and beautiful. A big no to keeping the marriage a secret unless you want to alienate and annoy friends and family. 

Post # 12
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

Is he the type of person who gets excited and makes impulsive decisions?

This honestly sounds like an urge that will pass if he gives it a few weeks. I wouldn’t get married before a proposal….if you get married then nix the proposal because that would be strange. I also think that your guests will have less enthusiasm for your actual wedding if you get courthouse married first. People tend to be understanding of that when it’s for a reason, like needing to get on a spouse’s health insurance, or due to immigration process, or something like that. But this would essentially be for no reason at all. 

Basically – don’t act on impulse now to make a HUGE decision you may regret later. Treat it like getting a a tattoo, and give it at least a few weeks or months before deciding. You may find it’s just a passing impulse due to ring excitement, and not your (or his) real desires. 

Post # 13
Member
5509 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Just tell him sure let’s get married at the court house asap. Then when he proposes in the spring you can say no! That would be funny as hell. No point in it anyway then.

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