Memberlochness : have you used the words “we are no longer in a relationship” or something that means the same thing? Saying that you are moving out permanently may seem like an obvious indication that you’re broken up, but it isn’t 100% clear. You have to be 100% clear about the status of your relationship.
I hope your move goes smoothly. I can imagine this is a very difficult time for you. Be kind to yourself.
MemberMemberOP, would you possibly consider pre-marital counseling? Have you 100% decided you are done even if there was a chance he could come around eventually to accept your terms?
Memberweddingmaven : Didn’t she say that she didn’t want him to feel forced to change his decision and he was entitled to what he believes?
Memberchiara : I think she did, but the reality of a break up may be a different story than the idea. However, I’m inclined to think you’re right. OP does not strike me as the reconsidering type.
Memberweddingmaven : That may not work because he might hold it against her even if he drops his prenup plans.
MemberJMO but I find it kind of childish that you’re basically threatening him that you’ll move out (but you dont want to end the relationship……………….unless he sees your point of view and changes his.
Membersboom : Yes I told him twice that the relationship is over. I didn’t just tell him I’m moving out. But even when I’ve asked for space he has called every few hours today (he was busy with business work yesterday so yesterday was fine) and keeps saying we can’t break up and then repeats we should drop the issue and go back to it later in the year so that I can take a less emotional decision on prenups and essentially he’s thinking he can change my mind by getting me to delay leaving and proposing in the first week of October, which is the last thing we should be doing right now. When I said no, he said I was walking away without trying to make the relationship work.
soon2btnt : I am not threatening anything. I ended the relationship already and will move out for good with my belongings this week. I am not trying to change his mind and he should do what’s right for him.
weddingmaven: I don’t want to go to counseling to get him to change his mind because neither of us should do something we are uncomfortable with. We have completely different views and he shouldn’t accept mine as he strongly believes in having prenups and he’d be going against what he clearly thinks is right.
Memberlochness : ok, I assumed you had but wanted to clarify.
He needs to stop. It’s not ok for him to keep pestering you like this. You’ve told him your decision and he needs to respect it. I don’t get what he thinks he is going to achieve here… This sounds incredibly frustrating and I think you’re handling it very maturely.
Membersboom : Thank you. I will have this week to go back and pack up and I’m stressed about the week ahead because I expect it to be as difficult as last week when I go back tonight or tomorrow morning.
sharpshooter : Thank you. Yes moving out soon is not easy but I just need to get on with it without letting things get to me.
Memberlochness : You’re saying it has to come from him or not at all. That’s fine. You aren’t even engaged and have the perfect right to be as discriminating as you want to be, whatever that looks like to you. I’m still curious as to what you’d do if he made a total 180 on the subject today or in a few weeks or months from now.
Memberweddingmaven : holy hell woman, just drop it!
OP broke up with her boyfriend. End of story. Why are you being so pushy about wanting her to second guess her decision?!
Membersboom : What are you talking about? While I don’t owe you or your rude comment an explanation, I’m not pushing her to get back with him. If you read any of my earlier comments on this thread you’d know I was among the first to say that she shouldn’t be with him if they are incompatible and that there is no right or wrong here. That was when everyone was telling her how crazy she was for not wanting a prenup. I was merely curious as to what she’d do IF he came back. I did not offer any opinion either way.
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