Boyfriend Won't Let Me Get A Dog

posted 1 month ago in Pets
Post # 46
Member
3824 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Op can you afford to live on your own? Don’t just go and get a dog unless you have planned out the logistics in the event of a breakup.

Post # 48
Member
5302 posts
Bee Keeper

michelle95 :  On a side note – fostering is AMAZING! Most places also pay for all food, beds, vetting, etc. So its low/no cost to you as the foster mom! 

Post # 49
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I came here to say originally that I am a huge dog lover and would break up with someone that told me I couldn’t get a dog. But as I kept reading, I don’t agree anymore. You already have a dog!!

One that it sounds like you don’t claim as your own and don’t take care of. You are living together and moving towards marriage, so it should be seen as “our” dog and not “his” dog. Do you help with this dog or is it all him? If he does all the work for “his” dog already, maybe he is afraid he will have to do more work with “your” dog while he is home? What if they don’t get along? What if his current dog is territorial in his home? Maybe he is skeptical of having two dogs at once, one that is his and one that is yours. That just seems SO weird to me. We have one dog.. he is our dog. 

Not letting you get a dog at all and not wanting a SECOND dog in the home are two VERY different situations. 

Post # 51
Member
5490 posts
Bee Keeper

michelle95 :  A 28 year old man who is regularly too hungover Sunday mornings to take care of his own dog is not marriage material. 

Post # 52
Member
269 posts
Helper bee

michelle95 :  Your updates show that there are more red flags about this guy that go much deeper than not letting you get a dog. I still say to lose the boyfriend, move to your own place, and get a dog. A dog will be a much better and loyal companion than this guy.

Post # 53
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

For real, get the dog and ditch the boyfriend.

Post # 54
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

michelle95 :  Your updates… man.

Why does he even have a dog if he kept it outside and can’t even let it out to pee?? Poor dog!! That would be a huge turn off for me.

I think you’re better off without this guy in your life. I wouldn’t go out and just get a dog quite yet, I would figure out what you’re doing in this relationship and get a dog once you leave and get your own place.

Post # 55
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

michelle95 :  While that does make more sense, this is still about getting a SECOND dog to bring in with an already large dog. To me that is not the same as him not letting you get a dog. You just want a different dog. It makes all the difference in the way the situation should be handled. I love dogs and we joke our dog is our first born child.. but I’m not sure I could handle having two. 

Back to my original stance though, I would just move out then and get the dog you do want. He sounds completely irresponsible and it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship! If he can’t take care of his own dog, he is immature and I would be out the door so fast. 

Post # 56
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

I feel like you should move out and get your own dog if it’s that important to you. 

Post # 57
Member
22 posts
Newbee

Post # 58
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee

Trade your lazy, controlling boyfriend in for a dog and independence.

Post # 59
Member
9542 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

michelle95 :  

No, don’t just bring a dog home and hope for the best.  That’s cruel to the dog, who deserves a loving home and to feel wanted.

As for your bf, I spit on him. 

Whenever the word “let” comes up in reference to a discussion between two adults, I get a knot in my stomach. The title of your thread is concerning.  Your bf does not get to “let” you do anything. He is not your owner, nor is he attempting to rein in an unruly toddler heading towards the Tide Pods.

Aldults discuss, they negotiate, they argue. But they don’t “let” or not let the other partner do things they want to do.

If you’re ok with the status quo, stay exactly where you are.  In your heart of hearts, if you just can’t live without a dog one more day (that was me in 1986), you have to rehome the bf.

The man in my life had to, not only accept, but be engaged and involved with my five German Shepherds.

It sounds as if you’re at an impasse. I think you will find a dog far better company than the bf.

Post # 60
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

michelle95 :  good on you adopting a senior dog, they’re wonderful but often dont get adopted. Based on this fact I’m going to go ahead and make the judgement call that you’re an AMAZING person and say you deserve better than this guy. Others have pointed out the red flags so I’m not going to harp on them but you deserve a dog you love and a boyfriend then fiance then husband who values you and treats you like not just an equal but like the amazing win you are

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