Boyfriend won’t propose

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Should I stay or leave?
    Wait it out. It’ll happen soon! : (39 votes)
    49 %
    Leave. It’ll never happen. : (12 votes)
    15 %
    Give the ultimatum. : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Forget the whole thing. : (22 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    6698 posts
    Bee Keeper

    l don!t have much to add to the perfectly good advice/commentary pps have already given- except to say l was struck by the lack of emotion other than annoyance and dissatisfaction in your post. It was singularly free of love for fi, for instance . It was about getting married, not married to him. You also mention, rather briskly, that things better happen in the order you want because you are “ saving yourself for marriage” by which l understand you to mean no sex? In which case l’d hold off on the house buying unless you plan to rent it out , as you two presumably can’t live in it together. In any case , not a great idea to buy a house with someone you aren’t married to and who you aren’t quite sure wants to marry you.

    Post # 47
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I was just like you when I was 23, and before that. I was in a serious relationship and I made a timeline when I was 20 and said I wanted to be married and working on a family when I was 25. 

    When I was 23 I started getting anxious because my boyfriend, after 4 years together, still didn’t seem solid on getting married or even wanting to compromise on a timeline. He told me 5 months before our 5th anniversary that he didn’t want kids and that he didn’t believe in marriage, and that helped me make my decision to leave. 

    I’m 25 now and getting engaged this year to the man of my dreams who I was able to make a timeline with that works for both of us. And I’m okay with it. I’m okay the fact that I’ll be 26 when I get married and I’ll probably be 29ish when we take the step to get pregnant. You have a lot of time to figure things out, and rushing him is not a good idea if he isn’t ready. Even if you convince him to do it he may end up resenting you if he feels he was forced.

    Also, ultimatums are a terrible idea and rarely work. That will ensure that he has negative feelings about the whole thing and may push him into leaving you.

    Post # 48
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee

    You seem like a very type A personality. 

    As hard as it seems I would divert my attention to a activity or a hobby or something. Reading, Exercising, etc

    You are still young and have a lot of time. Timelines aren’t perfect. Pressuring him about It won’t help matters. 

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