(Closed) Boyfriend’s brother having a destination wedding, and we’re BROKE!

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My advice would be to have your boyfriend tell his brother all of this (minus the “when are you going to make me your best man?” part). If they are really that close, his brother should understand. Maybe he can even help you think of a solution.

Post # 4
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

His brother is only going to get married once and if your boyfriend misses it he will regret it. Find a way to get there. In the grand scheme of things years from now you are going to have great memories of the trip and will not matter as much how much it had cost you at the time

Post # 5
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MichiganGirl24: Can his parents or your parents help you out? I would first ask them. His parents should understand. Or what about his brother? Can he help out?

Post # 6
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Personally, I’d do whatever I have to do to make it to my brother’s wedding. My brother just got married 2 weeks ago. They moved the wedding up & we only had 3 weeks to plan to get there. It was the week before Christmas and out of state for me. It was difficult and I had to make cuts but I made it because it’s his big day & I’d hope that he would do whatever he could to make it to my wedding.

I say start planning on being there- maybe post-pone your trip that you’re planning??

Post # 7
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

When is the wedding? Can you put $$ aside until then? I think this is for your boyfriend to make the call on regardless of his or your financial situation.

Post # 8
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with nycbrde2011!! Find a way to do it, he can’t miss his brothers wedding! Do you live in the same city as some other people going? Can you guys hitch a ride with someone else?

Post # 9
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That happened to my Fiance and his best friend from when he was 2 or 3. He couldn’t go to the wedding and tried and tried to save, but couldn’t swing it. He was devestated and tried to explain to his BFF that he couldn’t make it because of finances. The BFF was MAD and they haven’t talked since.

I think what a lot of people don’t think about when they are planning destination weddings is that some people cannot afford to go. I’d have your Boyfriend or Best Friend explain everything to your brother. Maybe there is a way for a family member to “loan” the money, or maybe your BF’s brother can help with the expenses. Beyond that, there isn’t much you can do.

Post # 10
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we’re also trying to save for a big trip next winter in which we would have to buy a lot of equpiment (showshoes aren’t cheap!).”


I think this is a very telling quote. If it comes down to choosing between the brother’s wedding and this trip, it seems clear to me that you should choose the wedding. Sometimes saving for big purchases/trips means sacrificing in other areas. Unfortunately we can’t always have it all!

Post # 11
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsPom:

That is a great idea! I had to go to a friends wedding once that was a 7 hour drive and a whole bunch of us car pooled that helped with money for sure!

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@All In: I agree 100%.

Your bf’s brother’s wedding is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime event. A snowshoeing trip isn’t necessarily and can be postponed (or re-worked) if necessary. 

Post # 13
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think you should do whatever you can to be there. Postpone your trip, have Boyfriend or Best Friend get a temporary second job. Whatever needs to be done. It is 13 hour away, not on the other side of the world-it should be doable to save enough for this trip.

Post # 15
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MichiganGirl24:

It just sounds like you do not want to go at all. So let him go on his own.

Post # 16
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MichiganGirl24:   I don’t think that having a Destination Wedding is selfish.  Go if you can, don’t if you can’t.  But I will say this:  imagine how it’s going to look when you don’t go to his wedding and turn around and go on a vacation that includes snowshoes a few months/year afterward. 

You said you dont’ know what the hotel situation is yet – well maybe you could split a room with another couple or two, or find some other inexpensive option.  I think you really need to reconsider where your dollars are being allocated and put your vacation on hold and go to this wedding. 

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