Boyfriends brother is going to pop the question… rant/envy

posted 3 weeks ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3595 posts
Sugar bee

Stealing spotlight isn’t a thing.  Having only one event in a family at a time isn’t a thing.

Why on earth would you postpone your entire life for someone else’s one day party?

People can be happy for and celebrate more than one thing at a time.

Just live your life.  Try not to plan your weddings for the same day.

Post # 3
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Get married on your own timeline! You are allowed to get engaged and married around the same time, I’ve seen it happen many times and it’s happening this year with me and my fiancé and his brother and fiancé. 

Post # 5
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2006

Postponing your own engagement until AFTER THEYRE MARRIED is insanity. Possibly years??!!!?? No. Just no. Don’t get married on the same day, everything else is fair game. If anyone gets upset about it, screw em. 

Post # 6
Member
3595 posts
Sugar bee

Well, then enjoy never being married because the stars never perfectly aligned to have the sole focus on the two of you for months or years at a time until you get married because life happens and no one else is going to stop living their lives for the two of you to get engaged.  There will always be something big happening with people you know.  It’s a shame your boyfriend doesn’t realize that.

Post # 7
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

adelie :  so it’s not you but actually your boyfriend of 7 years who is unwilling to get engaged to you.   Your bf is now claiming he’s worried about stealing his brother’s thunder!  I’m sorry but after 7 years it’s doubtful his refusal to get engaged is *only* about his brother….. you need to take a stand. 

Post # 8
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Ugh that sounds like a whole other can of worms unfortunately 🙁 so the ideal situation for him is getting engaged after what 10 years of dating? Idk about you but I started getting annoyed around 4. How old are you guys? 

 

Post # 9
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

With a dumb excuse like that I really think he’s stalling. Sorry OP.

Post # 10
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

So you wait until after they get engaged and then also until they get married?! Which could be like another few years. And next they’ll get pregnant so you’ll have to wait until after that… I mean where does it end? There’s absolutely no reason to wait for anything concerning his brother. Silblings are often engaged at the same time. Just don’t schedule the weddings a week apart and it’ll be fine. 

Post # 11
Member
8460 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

adelie :  “engagement is out of the question until his brother and his girlfriend’s excitement of an engagement and a wedding have come and gone – which could be years.” — This doesn’t make any sense.

My bf is very against the idea (I am not)” — Ah, now it makes sense. 

He is clearly stalling. This excuse is absurd but it sounds like you’re ok with it.

Post # 12
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

I would say he doesn’t want to marry you.  It’s been 7 years and now he wants you to wait for his brother to get engaged and married before he’ll consider getting married.  I don’t think it’s going to happen.  If he wanted to marry you, the brother’s engagement would not be an obstacle.  The year we got married my sister and my husband’s sister both got married also.  It wasn’t an issue that we were all getting married.  

Post # 13
Member
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

adelie : we know engagement is out of the question until his brother and his girlfriend’s excitement of an engagement and a wedding have come and gone – which could be years. 

WHAT?!?! YEARS?!?! That is utterly ridiculous. 

Post # 14
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I’m sorry but what? Waiting for the brother is a garbage excuse. I’d be sitting your boyfriend down and getting into it with him. GTFO here…

Post # 15
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee

Do not wait for their excitement to be over. That isn’t a thing. AT ALL. My two cousins got married within 1 month of each other this Summer and it was totally normal. No one expects anyone to put their life on hold for someone else’s engagement. 

 

adelie :  

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