Boyfriends brother is going to pop the question… rant/envy

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 61
413 posts
Helper bee

If your bf uses his brother as an excuse… or you for that matter… then you have other things to worry about. Because it would be immature and weird for ppl to expect to be the spotlight.

I just got engaged and really don’t like discussing it with EVERYONE but have no choice. I would love for someone else to take the spot light. Yes I am excited but I am not an all eyes on me girl AT ALL.

Post # 62
2035 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I agree with PPs. If your boyfriend is shutting down so quickly about this, then I think that’s your bigger problem, not who is getting engaged.

My mom’s sister has four daughters: two sets of twins. Literally all four of them got married in 2017. No one even batted an eye. 

Post # 63
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
adelie :  When siblings are close in age, you are very likely to have similar timelines when it comes to graduations, marriages, and pregnancies. My sister got married in August and I got married less than two months later. We had so much fun planning everything and my parents were thrilled for both of us. Was everything perfect? No way, but we weren’t going to change our plans based on someone else’s wedding. Tell your guy a wedding is one day and not a whole year. 

Could he be using their wedding as an excuse not to move forward? I’m sorry to bring this up, but if he was really serious about getting married I don’t think much would stand in his way. 

Post # 64
7974 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


         His brother knew his plans to propose

so why doesn’t he propsose first then, since the brother knows the plans.  isn’t he techinically stealing your spotlight? according to your logic.


Post # 65
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

How much of your life are you willing to waste waiting for other family members to do what they plan to do?

“Thunderstealing” is a nonsensical notion developed solely to establish/maintain control of others.

YOU BE YOU, or learn how it feels to settle for perpetual second best. 

Post # 66
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

My cousins and I all got engaged within months of eachother. 2 of us got engaged 2 weeks apart. No one thought anyone was stealing the spotlight. In fact, it just made for a lot of fun celebrating for our parents who are very close. If you got engaged at an engagement party or wedding, that would be wrong. If you booked your engagement party or wedding day for the same day as theirs that would be wrong. But the reasons you’ve stated are made up.

Post # 67
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Wait, So I shouldn’t have got engaged because my brother who got engaged 3 years ago is waiting until he finishes degree and is settled in his career to get married? I’ve been engaged 6 months, by your boyfriends logic I shouldn’t get engaged for at least two years as that’s how far out my brothers wedding is and because now I’m engaged im stealing his thunder? Oh hell no! My life doesn’t revolve around his, or who does what first. 

Smells like bull shit excuses to me. 

Post # 68
2562 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah thats def. not a thing. 

People get a day. ONE DAY to get engaged and ONE DAY to get married. Everyone around you doesnt have to put their life plans on hold during engagements. Would you expect people to do that for you? 

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