(Closed) Boyfriends – Do I have to invite them?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to invite Boyfriends/Girlfriends?
    Yes - it is sad but you have to - buckle up and pay up! : (58 votes)
    56 %
    Yes - Because you are inviting the one married couple - they will feel left out : (23 votes)
    22 %
    No - since you don't know them - the cousins haven't kept in touch for a long time : (13 votes)
    13 %
    No - The wedding looks like a "family" affair - they'll understand : (10 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I think if they live together, you do. That whole “social unit” thing. If they haven’t been together long, you don’t know them well, and they don’t live together, I would say skip ’em. It’s a family event so it’s not like they won’t know anyone. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Isn’t it proper etiquette that you have to invite the SO if they are living together, engaged, or married?

    Post # 5
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    @cupcakeFL:  That and long-term relationships. I think over a year is the rule of thumb. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5479 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    People who identify themselves as a part of a couple should be treated as a social unit.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1423 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Yes — if a couple lives together you should definitely invite both.  My husband and I were together for 8+ years before we were married (lived together for 6).  I would have been very hurt to not have him invited.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2711 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m in the camp that ALL SOs need to be invited.  I think it’s rude and hypocritical not to.  I mean, why would it be ok to invite someone to come celebrate your love but choose to ignore theirs?

    Post # 9
    Member
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If they live together and/or have been together for a significant amount of time, you need to invite them. Also, invite them by name–if you don’t know their name, find out.

    My Fiance and I have lived together for 4 years and but in the past couple of years I have had more than one close friend/family member invite only me or use “and guest” on my invite. It comes across as though they couldn’t be bothered to recognize us as a “real” couple since we weren’t engaged or married.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1423 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @bellasperanza:   You’re right on the inviting by name part.  I was invited to my husband’s college roomate’s wedding as an “and guest”.  We’d been together the whole time they were friends.  We’d been living together since about as long as the happy couple knew each other.  Really??  Do you think he’ll bring his other girlfriend, or a coworker or something??

    No biggie, it was just a mistake after all.  But  does make you feel like people are saying your relationship doesn’t count, somehow. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @happyface:  Time to call up or email your cousins or your aunt/uncle and get the full names of your cousins’ significant others. It’ll give you a chance to catch up with them so that you don’t have the weirdness of seeing them at your wedding without having spoken to them in a while.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @happyface:  Hopefully, if whoever you get in touch with is good about returning phone calls and emails. 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    @happyface:  Unless you have a family like mine, then it should be. If you do…well, good luck! 

    The topic ‘Boyfriends – Do I have to invite them?’ is closed to new replies.

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