Boyfriend's female friend trying way to hard to be friends with me. Need advice.

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 76
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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hikingbride :  Yes I’ve cooked dinner for my friends. But it was an invite for genuine friends and people I’ve spent time with and we really jived well and I wanted to spend more time with them in a smaller setting.

I do not invite guy friends with their new girlfriends that I basically ignore when we’re hanging out together otherwise.

Come on, people. Give me a break.

Post # 77
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156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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zzar45 :  for FRIENDS. For guy friends with new girlfriends you don’t even talk to when you ARE out together. Yes, it’s f’ing intimate and a power move. I swear you all pull the wool over your own eyes when it’s convenient and you feel like shaming girls for having weird gut feelings.

Post # 78
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156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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MsJ2018 :  I’m with you girl. Everyone else is just taking what’s on paper and acting like OP is crazy for being wary. Gut reaction and instinct and this girls’ general actions all taken together suggest a manipulative side. Thanks for being sane with me.

Post # 79
Member
10370 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

How tiring must it be to be threatened so easily. 

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MsJ2018 :  

Post # 80
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

 

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sweetsweetdee :  Ahem, my eyes are wool-free, thank you. And since when is ignoring an affair “convenient”? No one is saying she should turn away from blatant red flags, just that things might not be as suspicious as the OP thinks. She might end up with a huge mess on her hands if she acts out of fear without considering likely alternatives. 

Post # 81
Member
820 posts
Busy bee

I love that you think “having healthy sexual interest” constitutes kowtowing to men. That’s …….. quite the view. 

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pinkflamingos :  

Post # 83
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6935 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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sweetkat92 :  It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to seduce your boyfriend or anything like that to me. It just seems like she’s someone you don’t particularly like and would never choose to be friends with, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be besties with everyone. I think it’s nice that she’s trying to be friendly with you. My best friend is a guy and I try to do the same whenever I met a new girlfriend of his. If they’re important to him, then they’re important to me. 

If you don’t want to hang out with her anymore, you don’t have to. You say you trust your bf and that’s great. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing anything shady at all and respects your feelings. But would you truly be cool with the two of them hanging out alone without you? I feel like you wouldn’t. So are you really asking how to get your bf to no longer be friends with this woman? 

Post # 85
Member
10370 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Have you talked to him about any of this? What does he say? 

Post # 86
Member
6935 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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sweetkat92 :  Okay so easy peasy: just tell him you’d prefer not to hang out with her much and he’s welcome to do so alone. 

Post # 88
Member
2444 posts
Buzzing bee

Seems like she is doing everything right to be friends with you and accept you as her friends girlfriend. It actually sounds like you are the jerk in the situation being on your phone. 

Post # 89
Member
3232 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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sweetsweetdee :  um, she doesn’t have to basically ignore the OP. The OP is actually ignoring her by scrolling through her phone all during brunch. It’s not the other girl’s fault they don’t have a conversation. 

Post # 90
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

“I just sit there and maybe make an occasional comment and scroll through Facebook or Instagram until we leave.”

That’s incredibly rude, regardless of who you are with. 

“I’m not stuck up like people think.”

This is an odd thing to say, as no one had accused you of being stuck up prior to that comment. Have you had issues where people have thought this about you in the past? Being reserved/shy does NOT always translate as “stuck up”, so perhaps you’re sending signals you’re not aware of (though paying attention to your phone instead of the people in front of you IS a clear signal that you don’t think they’re worth your time or effort).

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