Boyfriend's mum vehemently against our relationship- Anxious AF!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should we go ahead with the wedding without his Mom's blessings?

    Yes

    No- wait for her to come around

  • Post # 2
    Member
    4597 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    View original reply
    Nishtha :  it took my mum 3 years to like my sil. They got married 18 months – 2 years in. You can’t make everyone happy. His mum is his mum, she loves him and she’ll get over it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    What exactly did you say “from a banter point of view”?  It sounds like it really offended them, especially if the whole family now has to be talked around to liking you.  It’s hard to know what to advise without knowing the specifics.

    That said, if you’re both sure of the relationship then you should move forward regardless.  But definitely know that they’re sensitive to your “bantering” in the future.

    Post # 4
    Member
    653 posts
    Busy bee

    “I have been having panic attacks and they are no trip to Disneyland.”  I feel you, Bee.  

    If your future mother-in-law has a pattern of being like this, I wouldn’t waste time trying to convince her.  She’ll have to come around on her own.  I would continue to plan the wedding and hope that your fiance’s sister can talk some sense into her.  If she can’t, you cannot live your life on someone else’s terms.  

    If you absolutely can’t deal with the idea of getting married without your fiance’s parents present, then push the wedding back 6 months or a year.  But set a new date, and stick to that one.  That way, you know you’ve done your part, held out the olive branch, and any choice to continue hostilities toward you is entirely on her.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    3449 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    What did you say?  It really depends on what you said.

    Post # 6
    Member
    13725 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Without knowing what you said and how you handled the fall out, it’s hard to say. Did you ever apologize? 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    Without knowing what you said, it sounds like you really offended her. Try to apologize and talk to her maybe something got lost in translation 

    Post # 8
    Member
    710 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2000

    Iam really curious as to what would caused her to take such offense??

    Post # 9
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee

    Also wondering what you said just out of curiousity. But I’d plan the wedding anyway. If she wants to be that petty, it’s her loss. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Super curious to know what you said Bee…. I guess it’s hard for us to help if we don’t know how to approach it

    Post # 12
    Member
    9561 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    sounds like a her probem if she did this to the sil as wll

    Post # 13
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    Sounds like his sister is a trouble maker.  How could anything have been misunderstood between you and his mother when the conversation didn’t even occur between you two?  You should be careful what you share with her in the future because it seems like she’s looking for drama.

    Post # 14
    Member
    13725 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I don’t know, asking the sister about the “atmosphere” in her parents’ home comes across to me as prying, impolite, and as if you had some reason to be suspicious. 

    I don’t blame them for being a bit turned off by that part but the reaction does seems to the extreme, especially all the blocking. I may be off base, but my guess is there are also other, unrelated reasons. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    13725 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Actually, OP told the sister that she couldn’t get her boyfriend to discuss the atmosphere in the house which is just as bad. Nobody likes to be the subject of gossip or talked about behind their backs. 

    OP if they refuse to see or speak to you, have you considered writing them a letter? 

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