(Closed) Boy's Names, um Sort of…

posted 4 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should the children's names be changed?
    Yes, change the kids names to the fathers, no hyphen. : (6 votes)
    9 %
    Hyphen both names for the kids. : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Keep the kids names the same. : (34 votes)
    51 %
    To each her own, it's none of my business. : (25 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I only know of a couple situations when the mom married someone different than the kid’s father (who had no involvement). In the two cases I know, the fathers legally adopted the boys and they changed their name at that point. I know of an additional case where the mom remarried later in life and the adult sons naturally didn’t change their names. DH’s mom married 4 times during his childhood, but he kept the last name of his father (who was very active in his life).

     

    I don’t know any hyphenated ones though!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @bebelicious1:  I think this is really case by case and depends on the age of the child. And why the kids names were not the fathers to begin wih.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My DH’s nephew is not his nephew by blood, he is a nephew by marriage. SIL had a child previous to marrying BIL.  Nephews last name is SIL maiden name, since she was unwed when she had him and not with the father anymore.  They kept his last name her maiden name when they married, SIL took BIL last name. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1795 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it depends, somewhat, on how old the sons are, who they identify as their father-figure (they may still identify with the uninvolved father), and their preferences.  If they’re so young they may not know any difference, and the previous son’s father is not at all involved, I would think seriously about trying to have them adopted so that everyone has the same name. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    11273 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I know two men who have hyphenated last names. 

    I only would change the children’s last names if the new husband adopts the children.  I personally am not in favor of parents hyphenating children’s last names, because it makes life more complex for the children, especially the daughters, who may one day end up with three last names if THEY also choose to hyphenate their names when THEY get married.

    Although this isn’t a factor directly for the sons themselves, it could be a factor for their future wives if any of them want to hyphenate their names after marriage.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted to keep the kid’s names the same. However, that is assuming that their biological father is still in the picture. If that’s not the case my answer may be different, and it would also depend on the child’s age.

    Post # 9
    Member
    357 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    I would leave the kids’ names the same, unless they specifically wanted to change.

    My son’s last name is hyphenated.  His dad and I have different last names, so we gave him both of ours.  The only person to comment so far has been my mother, who likes to make p/a “joking” comments about how his name won’t fit on his jersey if he plays sports.

    Post # 10
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    MrMojito’s mom married his step-dad when he and his brothers were really little. The step-dad adopted them and they all took his last name. Their bio-dad was not in their lives at all, so the step-dad is their only father. It makes sense in that case, but I don’t think it would in all cases.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I think if the kid is old enough to know what it’s own name is then it should probably be left alone unless they specifically asked to change it. My father died when I was 7 and my mother never remarried but if she had I would have been seriously displeased if she had tried to change my name without consulting me. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    When my Nan was pregnant with my dad (we’re talking late 1959, cause dad was on in 1960), his biological father was absolutely terrible to Nana. So when dad was born Nana gave him her maiden name instead of bio dads surname. After Nana and Pop has been dating for a while (dad would have been 6 I think) and they decided to get married, Pop adopted dad and dad’s name was changed to Pop’s surname. 

    I think it’s a case by case situation personally. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My FI has a hyphenated last name to represent both his mothers maiden name and fathers name.  They were married but still chose to go that route.  I don’t think it is unusual.  Especially because my FI ususally goes by his fathers last name unless it is for legal matters and such. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3101 posts
    Sugar bee

    @bebelicious1:  I would give the kids the mother’s last name only.  I don’t like hyphens (but that’s just me).  My parents divorced at 12 and at 15 my sister and I legally changed our last names to our mom’s.  Best decision I ever made.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7272 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @bebelicious1:  Hmmm. I personally wouldn’t change a kid’s last name unless they were too young to know or asked for it themselves (i.e. they bonded with their stepfather and wanted to be known by his last name). I’m Mexican-American and it’s pretty common for boys to have both their mother’s and father’s last names in our culture. 

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